Sketchy Part of Town

22 years of life have led me to one conclusion: girls from age 13-31 are certifiably insane. Not the " wake up in the morning with half your limbs missing" insane, but the "what kind of drugs are they on" insane. It is the only thing that is certainly certain. Every night I doubt the sun will rise the next morning, but I never ever never never doubt that some girl is going to complain about "her" needs. Well, all my hypotheses and guesses were summed up in one experience that I didn't even experience, but I heard enough about it to know exactly what happened, and it definitely confirmed all foregone conclusions.

I heard this story from the mouth of my good friend, Ben Perez, who is engaged to Laura Evans, whom I have never met. I saw her one night walking in her apartment complex, and I thought to myself, "I've facebook stalked you before!" I didn't want to stop her, she looked all flustered and much like a mad cat, ready to hiss at the first thing that looked at her wrong. The next day I had a meal with Benjamin and our friend Blake, and Ben explained why Laura had been so frustrated.

Mind you, the location of this story is Rexburg, Idaho, population 17,257. It is the home of BYU-Idaho, a church minded school, where students are always looking to do the right thing. The town is 95.04% White, 4% Hispanic, and the rest are a mixture of other races. Alcohol is mostly prohibited from the town; it's only available in a handful of restaurants. In 2009, there were a total of 17 violent crimes reported the whole year, none of which were murder, rape, or robbery. On comparison in 2009, Washington D.C., our nation's lovely capitol, there were 1,437.7 violent crimes for every 100,000 people. Laura grew up one hour from that catastrophic atmosphere. Basically in D.C. they don't categorize only on type of crime, but on the type of weapon used. You'd be surprised at how many are not gun or knife. The crime boss thinks to himself before he goes out, "Hmmm, maybe tonight I'll use a hobo's left arm to kill somebody."

So now that I've set the scene, as Ben tells it, he was on the phone with his father, who was informing him that his cousin was missing. I'd say a decently rough time for the family, right? So while he is on the phone with his dad, Laura calls him, but he doesn't answer, because he figures he can call her back after the matter is sorted out. He figures because she loves him, she'd be fine with that, right? Wrong. He calls her back, and she gets mad at him for "not being there to talk to when she was in a sketchy part of town."

I hope you just referred back to the crime statistics above. Heck, I'd be worried too walking around Rexburg at night, I might run into Valerie Braun huffing and puffing on a run up to the temple. I'm still beating her. Well, Ben's too nice to tell her he's crazy, and he felt bad when he told us this story. Ben, it's not your fault, she's just a female between the ages of 13-31. Good thing they're getting married. Just one more thing that convinces me to wait until I'm 32. Oh, just to make this story have a good ending, they found his cousin. Phew.

The Ol' Road Trip Home

Well, right now I should be writing a "Self-assessment letter" for my final English class tomorrow. Yeah, right. I had this one nagging question today, not from my self, but from others, hence the nagging. It was, what are you plans for your road trip home? Wellll, this is my way of putting down my plans from now, at 12:12 AM on Cinco de Mayo.

Note: Names have been changed to create anonymity. And because I like being sneaky. Maybe you can guess if you are a certain person. Make it a game! I know you will, Isabella!

Thursday: After I update all my privileged friends (yes, I am that cocky) on my plans for this coming week, I need to write that stupid English paper. I really can't wait until I'm done with English, I find it very pointless. And my teacher refuses to give me an A on any of my papers. I've gotten a B+ on every single one. Absurd. This is the first time I've ever had a B in any English class I've taken. EVER. F.Y.I. My facial hair itches. I'll probably go shave. Then I should get some sleeps in. At 7:30 AM, I need to be in 300 Leifson Physics to turn in my paper and to write an in class essay on this article, "So What's So Bad About Being So-So?" I've read through it twice, and I hate it. Maybe it was the way my professor read it. Her voice inflected at certain points, like someone nagging me to do the dishes while I'm watching the Rockies win. That's what it felt like. Just saying. After doing that, I will probably go eat some breckfast, cause by then I will definitely be hangry. With that out of the way I will head home to do some work for my father. I have nothing else to do until 6 PM, when I plan on trying sushi for the first time with Jacob, Emma and Olivia. I'm kind of excited. I do have to go celebrate Cinco de Mayo as well by going to my favorite taco bus in all of Reno. It's called Jeovah Es Mi Pastor. Fantastic name. I will more than likely end up hanging out with Ethan, Jayden, Michael, Sophia, Ava and Emily. We'll probably watch a movie at Jayden's as usual.

Friday: On Friday, I have a wide open day. Beautiful. At night, I'm going camping with Jacob and Ethan in particular. And Alexander and Madison are going to be there as well. Super stoked. I love to camp.

Saturday: Saturday's my studying day. I have so much of it to do. Math and Physics. I should have written my Philosophy paper by this point, if I don't do it that day.

Sunday: Church as usual. And packing. I have a lot of crap. So I better start then. I wouldn't be surprised if Emily nags me into hanging out with her and her friends. Great.

Monday: At 9:45 AM I have my calculus final, which if I get a B, I'll pull out a B in the class. Then at 12 PM I have my physics final, which if I get an A, I'll pull out an A in the class. At 5:30 I have to turn in my philosophy paper; I should have an A in that. And with that I'm done with the semester. I am guaranteed to hang with the crew.

Tuesday: I leave Reno. I really hope Molly will meet me in Twin Falls, but you never know. I am excited to have lunch with Logan there. It will be very good to catch up. Then it's on to Rexburg. I'm going to stay with Andrew, Joseph and James. Andrew is particularly funny, we kicked it real well when I was in Sexy Rexy last. That night and on Wednesday, I hope to see in no particular order, Isabelle, Abigail, Ryan, Chloe, Mia, Elizabeth, Christian, and Jackson. Christian and Ryan better believe we're going on a man-date to Ramire's. And Chloe better believe she's going there with me too. Or to the taco bus, I'll take either/or. I'm going to ride horses with or go to the temple with or both with Mia. I'm going to the temple with and/or playing soccer with Elizabeth. Basically, it's going to be eventful.

Thursday: I'm heading down to Utah, where I'm going to pick up Samuel in Logan, and hopefully see Dylan. Then I'm headed down to the valley where I'll see Nathan for the first time in forever. I'm seriously excited. And I'll hang with John and Dylan and Addison.

Friday: I better have breakfast with Alexis. In fact, I should probably text her that. She'll be up at this gaudy hour. Then Samuel and I are headed back to the 3OH!3. Rad Trip. I'm stoked, we're gonna kick it real good. Listen to some good tunes like the National and Wild Sweet Orange among others.

Then the summer officially starts. It's going to be a good one for sure. Climbing the rock every night with Joneses. Rockies games. Etc. It's really weird though, I'm going to miss being in Reno. I never thought I'd say that. Which is a good sign of things to come. Now I go to my paper. I hope you enjoyed this time we spent together. Figure out who you are and you get a special surprise!

"cause you, you're as tameless as the ocean.
i want to love you, but commotion,
oh, it ravages me on the whole.
oh and me, i'm as dramatic as the thunder,
my lightening scares as she rolls over
oh yeah, she needs to get some sleep."
-wild sweet orange - Aretha's Gold -