tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12245578630024018322024-03-14T11:01:08.669-07:00welcome to my worlddevonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-32744158202915760932014-01-23T01:31:00.000-08:002014-01-23T17:31:50.345-08:00The Day I Shot My Ghost<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I wanted you to remember this story forever, I would most
likely not tell you this story. It has no beginning nor end. It is all middle. I
hope that you’re as confused as I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It had already started.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I drove down the interstate, window rolled down, and saw the
longest semi I had ever seen. As I sped by, the pressure created in the space
between our cars drew my car towards the other lane. This was normal and I was
once taught that is the same way that airplanes create lift, but it still made
me sweat. Once I passed, nothing happened and my mind was at ease. Bernoulli’s principle is very effective.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked through the desert and saw a tornado in the
distance. I stared it down and it kept its distance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I flew by myself in an airplane, a small plane that flew
through the clouds, not above them. A devil appeared above my right shoulder. “Drop
a penny on the city below,” he said. An angel appeared over my left shoulder. “Give
that penny to a homeless man,” he said. So I compromised and dropped the penny
on a homeless man.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I could be any vacation, I would be an affordable family
vacation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I grabbed my rainy day fund and went to the dollar store. I wore
my sunglasses because the sun was very bright. I walked in the store and went
right to the section where they have the tiny foam dinosaurs that you drop in
water to grow. I went to Deaf Violinist Dam and dropped the dinosaurs in the
water. They floated away. The next day, Jurassic Park was released on DVD.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The best time to go to the dentist is 2:30.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I grew out a moustache. I looked in the mirror and hated it,
so I threw a brick at the mirror. I have more loyalty to my moustache than to
my mirror. The brick fell on the counter and turned to dust. I scooped the dust
into the sink and turned on the faucet. As the water flowed down the drain pipe I sang, “All in all, you’re just another brink in the
wall.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got stabbed in the back. I knew because I woke up in a
pool of my blood. Also there was a knife sticking out of my back. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzoRx43-o54H8ReiumJcYp9yn_qcRWuYaRoEzOMyeoBUiINZNi6ExKnoOazMxU9R-hY82uxbvyh4bd3zs0OHrZA_ck7MSeYS7Z8P9hVtpOVOBPjHYbXVD_2JyhIQWZsQMTGXspX7ZFzI/s1600/IMAG0833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOzoRx43-o54H8ReiumJcYp9yn_qcRWuYaRoEzOMyeoBUiINZNi6ExKnoOazMxU9R-hY82uxbvyh4bd3zs0OHrZA_ck7MSeYS7Z8P9hVtpOVOBPjHYbXVD_2JyhIQWZsQMTGXspX7ZFzI/s1600/IMAG0833.jpg" height="226" width="400" /></a></div>
This is how my room would look in outer space if the Earth and everything on it except for my room disappeared instantly.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shot. The bullet went right through, and my ghost kept on
living, dead as a doornail.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the worst collection of thoughts I have ever written
down and I don’t care.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-92033848950159995372013-10-16T02:30:00.008-07:002013-10-16T02:30:58.026-07:00Migraines Suck<div class="MsoNormal">
This was the worst experience of my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I had a test at 11 AM. I have taken a lot of tests in
my day and I consider myself a good test taker. I usually finish before
everybody and I’m left looking around to make sure I didn’t go too fast. Then I
wait until somebody else turns in their test so I don’t feel like I went to
fast. Today’s test was for my Timber Structures class.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had studied sufficiently for this particular test and I felt
alright going in. I had woken up around 8, taken a shower, and even had
breakfast, which for me is a rarity. I wanted to not be rushed, stressed,
hungry, thirsty, or anything to hinder my test taking skills. I got to the
classroom ten minutes early, sat down, and pulled out my calculator, pencil,
and eraser. I was set up for success.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dr. Bagheri got to the room and handed out the formula
packet, which I thumbed through to familiarize myself with it. It looked
normal, and I felt that my chances in passing increased with it in my hand. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She then handed out the test, which I promptly wrote my name
on, as most people do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then it happened. The worst thing that could happen
happened. I went blind. Well sort of. It’s called “aura.” Basically I see spots
that fill my vision, much like someone gets when they come inside when it’s
bright outside, except that it lasts a whole lot longer. I knew I was doomed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I got the pre-migrainal arch. It’s a tingly feeling
that starts in my right hand, moves up my arm into my face and then down my
left arm and out my left hand. While the spot is in each place, I lose most
strength in that area. So, gripping a pencil was next to impossible. Remember I
was basically blind at the same time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The worst part of the aura was that part of the test was
reading tables with small tiny numbers. It would have been a breeze if I could
just wing it by writing big things, but yeah, no. When the pre-migrainal arch
moved to my mouth, my teeth started to chatter, which during a test is not
allowed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I get a migraine, my body temperature fluctuates like
crazy. So I started sweating. And then I was really really cold. Then I was
burning up. Then I was freezing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Somehow, someway, the aura left and I was able to crank
through the test. I finished with no time left and was in a real weird state. I
went home, spent some time losing weight and slept the day away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the worst experience of my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-72276223423522502742013-10-16T01:51:00.001-07:002013-10-16T01:51:25.225-07:00The FE Exam<div class="MsoNormal">
On October 26, I need everyone in the world to be saying a
prayer for me. I will be taking the FE exam. FE stands for Fundamentals of
Engineering and if I pass it, I will officially be an Engineering Intern. Right
after graduation this May, I can take the PE exam, and then with 4 years of experience
I will be a Professional Engineer. When I am a PE, I can put my stamp on
engineering drawings. As an engineering intern, I can work on those drawings. Eventually
I want to take the SE exam and become a licensed Structural Engineer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Needless to say, the FE is a big step in my career path. It’s an 8 hour test (as is the PE; the SE is
16 hours long), given in two 4 hour blocks. The morning block is general
engineering and the afternoon block is discipline specific, which for me is
Civil. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fortunately, I don’t have to memorize 800 formulas before I go
in. I have a 200 page exam book to use with necessary formulas. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The breakdown of the test, and how I feel on each topic are
as follows:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Morning Session:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Mathematics</b> – 15%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Math
isn’t the worst. It’s the basis of everything I do. The trouble could be in
remembering exactly how to integrate some formula. I seem to forget that quite
often.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Engineering Probability and Statistics</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-All I remember
are bell curves which are standard deviation. Or something like that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Chemistry</b> – 9%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Oh,
crap. Mass balances and… concentration maybe?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Computers</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-I use
one every day, but how am I supposed to answer questions about them? The exam
book says I need to know terminology, programming, and if analysis. All of that
sounds like a piece of cake.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Ethics and Business Practices</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What I
remember of this is do whatever your client asks as long as its safe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Engineering Economics</b> – 8%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Oh I crushed
this class. I got a 96% on the first test, a 98% on the second and didn’t have
to take the final. Cash flows are my plaything.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Engineering Mechanics (Statics and Dynamics)</b> – 10%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Ok,
statics (analysis of loads on systems that don’t move) is my bread and butter. Dynamics
is the bane of my existence. It is the hardest I have ever worked to barely
pass a class. I got a 25% on the first test. Granted, the class average was
27%. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Strength of Materials</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Also
my bread and butter. I can kill it in this class. The only thing I need to
seriously review is torque.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Material Properties</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Chalk
this one up as a loss.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Fluid Mechanics</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-I think
this I could do this one. I know Bernoulli’s equation and the energy equation.
Dr. Dennett has really helped me understand what I never learned in this class.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Electricity and Magnetism</b> – 9%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-I
think this is why I’m taking circuits right now? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Thermodynamics</b> – 7%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-0<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">º</span> is cold. 500<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">º</span> is hot. I don’t think that’s
what they’re testing though.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Afternoon Session:</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Surveying</b> – 11%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- I had
a week long module in my capstone design class a couple weeks ago, and the one
day we did something, we stood out in a field with a stick and a GPS device
that did all the work for us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Hydraulics and Hydrologic Systems</b> – 12%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Pipe
networks, water things, dams, I think I have this down fairly well. More or
less I’ve learned if the units check out, you’re doing something right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Soil Mechanics and Foundations</b> – 15%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-I do
not like soil mechanics or foundations. I don’t like dirt. I don’t like solving
mud equations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Environmental Engineering</b> – 12%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-We
reviewed these problems on Monday, and if the units check out, I’m doing it
right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Transportation</b> – 12%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-This
class was evil. I thought I was a genius all the way up until I took the test,
and then I felt like a moron. Chalk this up as a loss.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Structrual Analysis</b> – 10%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Oh
once again my bread and butter. I should probably review virtual work and
deflection, but I am not worried about this. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Structural Design</b> -10%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-Unfortunately
I missed the review session for this tonight, but if I look at the codes and
the handouts, I should be familiar enough with it to do well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Construction Management</b> – 10%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-What
the… I’ve never taken this class. Uh cranes, lift things. Concrete pourers,
pour concrete. Build!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Materials</b> – 8%<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-I did
fairly well in this class, I liked playing with asphalt and concrete. In fact
they should make this section a lab section, because that was fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I hope I pass. I’m putting my lucky toonie in my pocket to
better my chances. <o:p></o:p></div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-14560167775701592442013-07-24T14:58:00.000-07:002013-07-24T15:00:20.579-07:00The Mighty T Rex Kills for a Mid-Afternoon SnackI need to tackle an extremely important issue today. I find
what I saw to be very disturbing and it bothered me enough that I need to let
everyone know my views on the subject. It has to do with this bumper sticker I
saw yesterday:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfJJs8zcUMzWB1y4S1mCXF13_LkFutA19or_f0sI-8u3R2C2MaGeVWIiyL_z-Tpd_yxDhO4ifzA8L6uOn0FAeZyoYA3wSvXPxCz3Z18X2r-yhM8Na_TjjK8co1QfFpeUTF70dwl4IApA/s1600/quotmom_squaredquot_bumper_oval.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLfJJs8zcUMzWB1y4S1mCXF13_LkFutA19or_f0sI-8u3R2C2MaGeVWIiyL_z-Tpd_yxDhO4ifzA8L6uOn0FAeZyoYA3wSvXPxCz3Z18X2r-yhM8Na_TjjK8co1QfFpeUTF70dwl4IApA/s320/quotmom_squaredquot_bumper_oval.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
There was another bumper sticker on the car that was rainbow
colored and said “Gay Pride,” indicating that there are lesbian mothers in this
family. Now I don’t care whether or not there’s two moms in that family because
they are gay or polygamist or whatever, that’s their own deal. I’m not here to
debate whether that is right or wrong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I have a problem with is the math. Mom squared is not
equal to two moms. When you square a number you do not simply add the number
with itself. That would be 2Mom or Mom x 2 or 2(Mom) however you want to write
it. When you square a number you multiply that number by itself. I have
attached drawings/math proofs for you to better understand this:<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKELCAIPw6x6HlVEeptZezCAHEPgxrM41TnyMGM0H3pz1FN4q-qK9R6FvR1JwnaZ6HaVxhViaj3FQafpBYBhyphenhyphenXv-7rcwR-7bRPEPbnr2np0KlIjf7elCkFoYQkV6jJBuWWMybGYFjUHeA/s1600/IMAG1547.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKELCAIPw6x6HlVEeptZezCAHEPgxrM41TnyMGM0H3pz1FN4q-qK9R6FvR1JwnaZ6HaVxhViaj3FQafpBYBhyphenhyphenXv-7rcwR-7bRPEPbnr2np0KlIjf7elCkFoYQkV6jJBuWWMybGYFjUHeA/s640/IMAG1547.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mom” can be defined as a female parent, just like “dad” can
be defined as a male parent. Therefore when you multiply a female parent by
itself it becomes a freak with four arms, legs, eyeballs, ears. Kind of like a Siamese
twin. So if these moms were trying to say that they’re Siamese twin moms then
they said the right thing with this bumper sticker. More drawings are attached for further proof:<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBCc2Jrqj2lpsZfaeagnCSsIaZ-HQPQcdewI4hnn84DIzph58LiJKsejyv0NeOJTEtueeZiolHj3mVv04-ctIGunrXrFDF0gOFB71R67ftyA42irKr02KnrBr9OZgoqrumR2cMogZ-Yg/s1600/IMAG1549.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEBCc2Jrqj2lpsZfaeagnCSsIaZ-HQPQcdewI4hnn84DIzph58LiJKsejyv0NeOJTEtueeZiolHj3mVv04-ctIGunrXrFDF0gOFB71R67ftyA42irKr02KnrBr9OZgoqrumR2cMogZ-Yg/s640/IMAG1549.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Please, lesbian moms that live in the Meadow Ghetto, change your bumper stickers to be mathematically correct. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-fC0FUNVO0OZaMIbGr_le7zqPtmOLKwJNMh8byXuM8TteyX38jne02Z-cXzEkXgnTc59xdxDTWyGp7K2hiqHHw2St-e1TflCu6f4-h8u5IDQO7We3Dje5-YGf68xRF5iZ5umzzbzxFo/s1600/IMAG1550.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-fC0FUNVO0OZaMIbGr_le7zqPtmOLKwJNMh8byXuM8TteyX38jne02Z-cXzEkXgnTc59xdxDTWyGp7K2hiqHHw2St-e1TflCu6f4-h8u5IDQO7We3Dje5-YGf68xRF5iZ5umzzbzxFo/s640/IMAG1550.jpg" width="382" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-68017198321024962712013-06-19T00:01:00.002-07:002013-06-19T00:11:07.932-07:00Holy Writ<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, I would like to talk to you about something holy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“A man cannot own too many hats.” – Ted 3:4<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are my hats: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFarlSdvGW39a1RDIEm9AboPP_uN9fSENCjsdeIchtt3oynFJZG_0Nku7g8sg95nHDXAOeXsbR9kSMlWzCM5Su6AwI-FicJSYOjTcBBKApTBh1qJxTqA0CziMdVN-YUaHIR2ppemUdLZM/s1600/DSCN0032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFarlSdvGW39a1RDIEm9AboPP_uN9fSENCjsdeIchtt3oynFJZG_0Nku7g8sg95nHDXAOeXsbR9kSMlWzCM5Su6AwI-FicJSYOjTcBBKApTBh1qJxTqA0CziMdVN-YUaHIR2ppemUdLZM/s1600/DSCN0032.JPG" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: center;">All stacked up on my shelf in my room.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FGa1TqTN3lYIkcQM6vy0pZnheZUC_xBPaxvlxy5pTjYBam9DBERjUcx_SSkXJw_DuwLOC-PwMIdIFbkpXao-J3tmeugw-gNuDLNCaDOSJMONGOugXxqduHtJzU2hyozBmSIkZ5rMFE4/s1600/DSCN0039.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FGa1TqTN3lYIkcQM6vy0pZnheZUC_xBPaxvlxy5pTjYBam9DBERjUcx_SSkXJw_DuwLOC-PwMIdIFbkpXao-J3tmeugw-gNuDLNCaDOSJMONGOugXxqduHtJzU2hyozBmSIkZ5rMFE4/s1600/DSCN0039.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is the hat for my favorite team, the Avalanche. I
like the dark red. I take good care of it, because it looks real classy (unlike
their play of late).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9WxRhHkCw_24fBn1toUtzZctBjbT6O5aH29GsCyF8lUiVspf3BePyZNNU7f-S2_hUiQLXR17lA_tmebfTRKzfyZ2dCxXQQyVEEx62IVmgv3QzcL_p-yqOmUICWKIqaHt4NSg0zbn-fo/s1600/DSCN0056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9WxRhHkCw_24fBn1toUtzZctBjbT6O5aH29GsCyF8lUiVspf3BePyZNNU7f-S2_hUiQLXR17lA_tmebfTRKzfyZ2dCxXQQyVEEx62IVmgv3QzcL_p-yqOmUICWKIqaHt4NSg0zbn-fo/s1600/DSCN0056.JPG" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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My parents bought me this Avalanche hat for christmas
one year. I don’t like the low profile because I have a large head. Because of that,
it is in good shape.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQAG8QQvwViAAeYHLQJPxpee1XcNF5teyT7VcHC4O6w16S6d3Tw2Frq3amwfS_ETOCikhn3Zx4HDUUu-AqJm6QiGB-v-4VsN31wB_3mR1O5S3DmVvMNDPItOHyjx6eZlD3Y6XXRqXBtkA/s1600/DSCN0044.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQAG8QQvwViAAeYHLQJPxpee1XcNF5teyT7VcHC4O6w16S6d3Tw2Frq3amwfS_ETOCikhn3Zx4HDUUu-AqJm6QiGB-v-4VsN31wB_3mR1O5S3DmVvMNDPItOHyjx6eZlD3Y6XXRqXBtkA/s1600/DSCN0044.JPG" /></a></div>
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This hat was a Christmas present from someone really cool. It’s the Astros current home hat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHfpsqoarL7XuK7HRV2kMPwPgwnFsTOQqME3u6eWb-l0xmsRy4b2xBUu9P2fFHTSJc-Hqtk_bOWJ9JdE7vOvNmHWZl5qHWv7rux-71_Aho1Y73tVVchQTnriWvJ-x05FZxMXr6x3vOC48/s1600/DSCN0046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHfpsqoarL7XuK7HRV2kMPwPgwnFsTOQqME3u6eWb-l0xmsRy4b2xBUu9P2fFHTSJc-Hqtk_bOWJ9JdE7vOvNmHWZl5qHWv7rux-71_Aho1Y73tVVchQTnriWvJ-x05FZxMXr6x3vOC48/s1600/DSCN0046.JPG" /></a></div>
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This, even though it looks the same as the previous
hat, is a throwback Astros hat. I bought this in Florida, and it has a slight crook
to the left side when I wear it. It’s a little dirty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtbjyxnGlnTqMhw2OIuxwY831dcyWZo1t8OL6HQ3a6gaefv7zGw2Vohu0bjyKPDCFDyEjU1XWxQ-lyK7Fl_lR920zH9jP3p3l0sn0D4WdJWsdmXKRY3EVhznGn26PxUidREBHOrhMlEGE/s1600/DSCN0043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtbjyxnGlnTqMhw2OIuxwY831dcyWZo1t8OL6HQ3a6gaefv7zGw2Vohu0bjyKPDCFDyEjU1XWxQ-lyK7Fl_lR920zH9jP3p3l0sn0D4WdJWsdmXKRY3EVhznGn26PxUidREBHOrhMlEGE/s1600/DSCN0043.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is another throwback Astros hat. I bought this
one in San Francisco with my mom. I had been looking for this one for years,
and happened upon it in a random shop. I grew up with the navy and gold Astros
uniforms. I like the gold a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3fnexhl2M-WNaZWCWl6fLlIOFAEwsUCP8zTXLNoKFju55gN9CGFVz93qbZ_8ZIpAZvrPk282K48EzgxIc9opS-P2uucXx64HJaAjwkgXHM6zAYT4ABvEWc_cLxiYR6uvmLEhVWjTc7U8/s1600/DSCN0047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3fnexhl2M-WNaZWCWl6fLlIOFAEwsUCP8zTXLNoKFju55gN9CGFVz93qbZ_8ZIpAZvrPk282K48EzgxIc9opS-P2uucXx64HJaAjwkgXHM6zAYT4ABvEWc_cLxiYR6uvmLEhVWjTc7U8/s1600/DSCN0047.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is the first Astros hat I owned and it is very
beat up. That’s what happens sometimes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiwJvmBnTwc-YH2JWykQ_cS8Fq71mhMfVhMj6vSOe5ydbPza45kVIS4T_aDC0PLiC9xE8YaLzCR8do7Xt0bIaFpwCc40iAKVqtxcDoRpkmeQUHf3HiGv4C_Y3otdS6Y5LlmuVt1ZlFRH0/s1600/DSCN0053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiwJvmBnTwc-YH2JWykQ_cS8Fq71mhMfVhMj6vSOe5ydbPza45kVIS4T_aDC0PLiC9xE8YaLzCR8do7Xt0bIaFpwCc40iAKVqtxcDoRpkmeQUHf3HiGv4C_Y3otdS6Y5LlmuVt1ZlFRH0/s1600/DSCN0053.JPG" /></a></div>
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My parents bought me this Astros batting practice cap
for Christmas one year. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7UXN5X-cmmK9BFwHFXjxY7RC0l103yJdHGeHdCHTWnjivONKTbDE8I2Sep18Yd1rWso8fLcELrkkwVXb24J2fAtOX-YyQYHzsUpwt2C5ajPCka2hXVMku0pEVSnWq3Q9Wwq1EudRKgk/s1600/DSCN0051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7UXN5X-cmmK9BFwHFXjxY7RC0l103yJdHGeHdCHTWnjivONKTbDE8I2Sep18Yd1rWso8fLcELrkkwVXb24J2fAtOX-YyQYHzsUpwt2C5ajPCka2hXVMku0pEVSnWq3Q9Wwq1EudRKgk/s1600/DSCN0051.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is the first Rockies hat I owned. It is 7 5/8,
and a little tight. It usually gives me a headache when I wear it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA81CAwNG4vmRHHVGT_jfVZl2lHy1ZFkb6xuBGkgAAHtMhQl6-eLlTZYdhFS_i12GSjYJhsBBLPma4YIER0p6wYN7TfI7wGFsSLIGYvQGZxSXG9cgNYQtZwQVfOTf0icTGb4RehP86TqI/s1600/DSCN0052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA81CAwNG4vmRHHVGT_jfVZl2lHy1ZFkb6xuBGkgAAHtMhQl6-eLlTZYdhFS_i12GSjYJhsBBLPma4YIER0p6wYN7TfI7wGFsSLIGYvQGZxSXG9cgNYQtZwQVfOTf0icTGb4RehP86TqI/s1600/DSCN0052.JPG" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
So I got this same hat, a 7 ¾. It is looser and
doesn’t give me a headache. I would say this is my most worn hat.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6CWbTCWcdZxSwyOobNjP4Y7jGj6A8QpGlE4laGj1-xifk6SBOoBd4M5iBEs9GOlCEfjdaYRaNsqi_cRL-ZJvR3c-rO4gDGOuSZkQL2jxYAsRV0VuF2tEBedptNftyBQ64rcbWG7KciuI/s1600/DSCN0054.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6CWbTCWcdZxSwyOobNjP4Y7jGj6A8QpGlE4laGj1-xifk6SBOoBd4M5iBEs9GOlCEfjdaYRaNsqi_cRL-ZJvR3c-rO4gDGOuSZkQL2jxYAsRV0VuF2tEBedptNftyBQ64rcbWG7KciuI/s1600/DSCN0054.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is the first piece of gear I had for Nevada. My
grandparents sent me it when I got accepted into the University of Nevada. They
were way excited for me to become a part of the Pack. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltNZlWfguKMmoqZG0NAqbfdeT9mmwixF897Us4-yFi8Hi6GM8cSyml7iQdMsfKVWOmq5SLoVxVhw6IyxtLW8ym5WVeDB_44-D0-z9LkYxITQslDJ0iApvN0Ym4jZ5HjtHPt7maLwrrb0/s1600/DSCN0033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltNZlWfguKMmoqZG0NAqbfdeT9mmwixF897Us4-yFi8Hi6GM8cSyml7iQdMsfKVWOmq5SLoVxVhw6IyxtLW8ym5WVeDB_44-D0-z9LkYxITQslDJ0iApvN0Ym4jZ5HjtHPt7maLwrrb0/s1600/DSCN0033.JPG" /></a></div>
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This is a hat I got at an Aces’ game. I like the old
wolf logo.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3UQomZm4k0GvnW7BNbq7HpaJUIIZ6dFFKPJis2DtiBbyd5d7Uei7Wxlzy_MA0-jQoEnBa8S7-0iIpv40jRMuTHhNI5oERq-t65kjtW_y4ykGzKXzQLA9ndfhux09YMl0mMiaz8rOH2SY/s1600/DSCN0035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3UQomZm4k0GvnW7BNbq7HpaJUIIZ6dFFKPJis2DtiBbyd5d7Uei7Wxlzy_MA0-jQoEnBa8S7-0iIpv40jRMuTHhNI5oERq-t65kjtW_y4ykGzKXzQLA9ndfhux09YMl0mMiaz8rOH2SY/s1600/DSCN0035.JPG" /></a></div>
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I bought this hat in
Camden Yards before the Orioles switched to this as their everyday hat. It was
still a throwback then, and has <a href="http://shop.mlb.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12256330&cp=1452344.1452610.707337" target="_blank">subtle differences to what they wear now</a>, such
as the bird.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMauV-16NpOx8oH7pX2y5PsdnQ6V51nhL6d2U4a6wj1uSecdi6z_fgdl6_MrYDi4-dbEkSIt2RM1nlLOXphXVoCiE6-j_MRjOP6-zLhBtOBSQOnL2EZd4-HPXrZlVzTPDRT9WQrOlXvFM/s1600/DSCN0036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMauV-16NpOx8oH7pX2y5PsdnQ6V51nhL6d2U4a6wj1uSecdi6z_fgdl6_MrYDi4-dbEkSIt2RM1nlLOXphXVoCiE6-j_MRjOP6-zLhBtOBSQOnL2EZd4-HPXrZlVzTPDRT9WQrOlXvFM/s1600/DSCN0036.JPG" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
And no MLB insignia
on the back. I love how this hat looks, especially the white panel, and the
stitching along the rim of the front panel. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiBXk8ogqbPjB_1HPp1_BZ7y88ne60WGI7ZWdju6vedfpNgM_otCeCAPPNwwZIKQLIlA1ntMlEYrUdNldE5OhjFC0_5vTgsu5gc0L1vwXjOaHUW_wF-ILYi-JDvwD6NndG_hAshLbLUAg/s1600/DSCN0057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiBXk8ogqbPjB_1HPp1_BZ7y88ne60WGI7ZWdju6vedfpNgM_otCeCAPPNwwZIKQLIlA1ntMlEYrUdNldE5OhjFC0_5vTgsu5gc0L1vwXjOaHUW_wF-ILYi-JDvwD6NndG_hAshLbLUAg/s1600/DSCN0057.JPG" /></a></div>
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Sam Burdick bought me
this hat, and I love it. Green is my favorite color, and I think the Kelly
green and royal blue is a classy combination. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQeFklbWh4hiFrb9Pr0x5F92f_jFppK8Siscj-nQfCfHUfkKGaAHF-Ruwz3Z6Vdb-3afTh3yHJ1W7NbgTqX9nJ-X5KjIDrIG3EFxvtRVTDOyndrxYuBjx_Qqmz4m0YnyZUTDZtI_esH_8/s1600/DSCN0058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQeFklbWh4hiFrb9Pr0x5F92f_jFppK8Siscj-nQfCfHUfkKGaAHF-Ruwz3Z6Vdb-3afTh3yHJ1W7NbgTqX9nJ-X5KjIDrIG3EFxvtRVTDOyndrxYuBjx_Qqmz4m0YnyZUTDZtI_esH_8/s1600/DSCN0058.JPG" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
He bought it for me
mostly because I had decided that the Johnny Canuck logo is the best in all of
sports. Even though they aren’t my favorite team, I wear this hat as often as I
can.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2Ui3SmG1n2jtlFjvH5PdHxO0hyphenhyphenH329YaPptgkL7q8fP_NqJUq2gX5GCVeE-w5I23_qz27hQxxpq6RH6lLcHyUs3ZTG9nwMTCF9u_EdpGPuarwjjpf1hdUOYfS7HWWILP64ufGUXNsHg/s1600/DSCN0054+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2Ui3SmG1n2jtlFjvH5PdHxO0hyphenhyphenH329YaPptgkL7q8fP_NqJUq2gX5GCVeE-w5I23_qz27hQxxpq6RH6lLcHyUs3ZTG9nwMTCF9u_EdpGPuarwjjpf1hdUOYfS7HWWILP64ufGUXNsHg/s1600/DSCN0054+%25282%2529.JPG" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
My grandpa bought me this hat for my birthday and
said, “No Kendall should not have an A’s hat.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8nwgPGL3GjAHjoDa8uKir53HcCy0JTXwCI6GRcVDDFdAjc2iasCPRNoR5ZOw-b7ORHIp24nf862aOZzeFzMDS43npsd_kRD4IjVTZtphAdwrgiOSt0EFOhnP-lwxcDzxhvqNuMhyphenhyphenVTs/s1600/DSCN0053+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK8nwgPGL3GjAHjoDa8uKir53HcCy0JTXwCI6GRcVDDFdAjc2iasCPRNoR5ZOw-b7ORHIp24nf862aOZzeFzMDS43npsd_kRD4IjVTZtphAdwrgiOSt0EFOhnP-lwxcDzxhvqNuMhyphenhyphenVTs/s1600/DSCN0053+%25282%2529.JPG" /></a></div>
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See above.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6MU4FUVhnSFdWQKYV7bFW0sN_7LBgstdQJlQiV0ksUGd5RkoxLJbHzotG-UrgA3pImHtsOXPm0Da1B_tMhKGQqUwh4dGpUk_tPirPznwE0mt_csJ8bTpf9cSuZjHoKsayhYkfLLBA-A/s1600/DSCN0048.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6MU4FUVhnSFdWQKYV7bFW0sN_7LBgstdQJlQiV0ksUGd5RkoxLJbHzotG-UrgA3pImHtsOXPm0Da1B_tMhKGQqUwh4dGpUk_tPirPznwE0mt_csJ8bTpf9cSuZjHoKsayhYkfLLBA-A/s1600/DSCN0048.JPG" /></a></div>
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This was my Christmas
present to myself in 2011. Jared had to work on Christmas day, so Dustin and I
went snowboarding. I forgot a beanie, and bought this one. It is very warm and
way comfortable. When I ride through the trees, branches and needles get stuck
in it and I feel cool.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2L0OM3ICN2nPl1f5FLnjocO7u4fKgD9LTVotA6wKn4AeSzUTs-C6pX__YbxrQZDcoTNKHUElSFNCbAuHxBSdpzplReyfjNub-MJ-YP2_dp5qDxUPU9K0D8AaG_wU3-CeIrEpqkekxv-0/s1600/DSCN0055.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2L0OM3ICN2nPl1f5FLnjocO7u4fKgD9LTVotA6wKn4AeSzUTs-C6pX__YbxrQZDcoTNKHUElSFNCbAuHxBSdpzplReyfjNub-MJ-YP2_dp5qDxUPU9K0D8AaG_wU3-CeIrEpqkekxv-0/s1600/DSCN0055.JPG" /></a></div>
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I like wearing this
beanie throughout the winter because it is loose and reversible. Two for one
type of deal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQBS3Zvl2rQQcmGRRFOcWHtdVhC6moPOgRxNgKYQpgaFJOeY43RRXN_gRp2HPOZBgDwt8ATlCAuIbuijl4MKiKsjDWI3LRI9u9kiMGHUquiFoVZXHt7zZ3I4P9K22kWRtZA4d-XJVrGQ/s1600/DSCN0050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQBS3Zvl2rQQcmGRRFOcWHtdVhC6moPOgRxNgKYQpgaFJOeY43RRXN_gRp2HPOZBgDwt8ATlCAuIbuijl4MKiKsjDWI3LRI9u9kiMGHUquiFoVZXHt7zZ3I4P9K22kWRtZA4d-XJVrGQ/s1600/DSCN0050.JPG" /></a></div>
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I got this beanie for
running (aka beating my dad) in the Colder Boulder. It was really cold, and if I
ever run when it’s cold, I wear this. But really, I never run in the cold. I kept this as a trophy for smoking my dad.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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Needless to say, I need/want more. And I will get more. "A man cannot own too many hats."</div>
</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-26394608293849935022013-04-24T00:50:00.000-07:002013-04-25T00:00:16.111-07:00My Favorite Songs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(Fork and Knife) - Brand New</div>
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Words in the Water - Thrice</div>
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Tony the Tiger - Manchester Orchestra</div>
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Ascension - O'Brother</div>
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Classic Cars - Bright Eyes</div>
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We Looked Like Giants - Death Cab for Cutie</div>
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Creepers - Kid Cudi</div>
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Swerve City - Deftones</div>
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Upward Over the Mountain - Iron & Wine</div>
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When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin</div>
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When I Met Death - Right Away, Great Captain!</div>
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The Night Starts Here - Stars</div>
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Favourite Colour - Tokyo Police Club</div>
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Either/Or - Aretha's Gold</div>
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Mattresses Underwater - Colour Revolt</div>
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It Never Stops - Bad Books<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Hj5qx211Kv0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Carolina Drama - The Raconteurs<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/06qmQM2zkog?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel<br />
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Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart - Against Me!<br />
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The Good Life - Weezer<br />
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devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-60226126562962738472013-04-20T11:12:00.000-07:002013-04-20T12:07:40.720-07:00Home Plate<br />
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There are prettier places in the world, but there’s no place
like home. My family’s home has 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a basement, and all
the other amenities of a normal home. It’s in a large neighborhood, called the
Meadows, in a town, called Castle Rock, in the suburbs of Denver. It was built
in 1992, but we’ve only lived there since 1995. There are at least 100 other
houses in that neighborhood that look the exact same. It’s a cookie-cutter
house. <o:p></o:p>This is our house on Google Maps:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6cGFyJlfbPuOphXJlFfn533FAS7hCfTNRS1TmFBb0iJVLAAIQ6jBz_EqyzfeY-TtEA9cethDPrQLhbbaTPGTWOykU6MWMVteffx-uztCz4ZrKjOYB1b5PYPGZ9_GmQqI2yd-CJLwfesI/s1600/House.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6cGFyJlfbPuOphXJlFfn533FAS7hCfTNRS1TmFBb0iJVLAAIQ6jBz_EqyzfeY-TtEA9cethDPrQLhbbaTPGTWOykU6MWMVteffx-uztCz4ZrKjOYB1b5PYPGZ9_GmQqI2yd-CJLwfesI/s640/House.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
It’s a very generic house
with a basketball hoop in front. Nobody really shoots basketballs anymore, it’s
mostly used as a post to tie up the dog when he’s in the front yard.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is looking out our house during a blizzard:<br />
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And at it, after:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8UjPTRzUJseGEOIy9C6rDkDZJTz-eyxIVNBo4MMGJQ0UHqR5-b-JW1lVKk2OmUtFcckF6-dHDelzl2boqOmp8ZzWXqIx2mcAsqkCXdPSZvnNuGqYU4tfrkvJ6N7fa0HF8_oFRVqvwCY/s1600/410857_10150582861112567_1810216023_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8UjPTRzUJseGEOIy9C6rDkDZJTz-eyxIVNBo4MMGJQ0UHqR5-b-JW1lVKk2OmUtFcckF6-dHDelzl2boqOmp8ZzWXqIx2mcAsqkCXdPSZvnNuGqYU4tfrkvJ6N7fa0HF8_oFRVqvwCY/s640/410857_10150582861112567_1810216023_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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There are wood floors throughout most of the house. Most of
the wood is honey colored, very light. It's oak, I believe. Don't quote me on that though, I'm not a logger. They look like this:<br />
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The walls are subtle shades of grey,
with one red wall in the dining room. The family room has blue walls. When you
walk into the house, the first thing you see is a 6’x3’ picture of pineapples
hanging in the living room. I think that sums up the feel of the whole house. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
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There are a lot of stairs in the house. The family room is split from the rest of the first floor. The master bedroom is split from the rest of the second floor. All of our knees crack as we walk up the stairs. It’s a Kendall thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One bannister has Dustin’s name carved in it. He didn’t carve it though. I did, because I wanted to get him in trouble.</div>
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At different times, I’ve lived in each of the three
non-master bedrooms, and in the basement. One room has green walls halfway up
to resemble a baseball stadium. Another (which has mostly been my sisters’
room) has stars on the walls. The third has camouflage walls. The basement had curtains. The second story
bathroom has a baseball theme with yellow and grey walls and some pin striping
and old fashioned baseball logos. <br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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The family room has a brick fireplace. Every Christmas, we
have taken pictures of the family hanging stockings. My mom has taken all of
those pictures and put them on a wall in the hallway between the living room
and family room. On the opposite wall, there are the mission plaques for the
four of us. Now that Jared is home, that is complete. There’s a few family
pictures scattered around the house. We aren’t much of a family for family
pictures. If you ever end up there, you can see the family picture with Dustin,
Jared, and I and our bleached blonde hair. The 90s were weird. The favorite family
picture is the one with me eating a grilled cheese sandwich, Jared blowing
bubble gum, and Dustin’s foot in Jaimee’s face. That
photo shoot took some time to get a normal picture.<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p>
The living room has vaulted ceilings, so every year we get a ridiculously huge Christmas tree. One year the tree fell on Dustin. I wish it did that every year.<br />
<br />
The living room also has a big window that has incredible views. This is our view of Pikes Peak:<br />
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<br />
This is view of some of the other mountains around us:<br />
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<br />
We have wild rabbits everywhere. There's an owl that lives in the tree behind our house. You can hear coyotes at night. Sometimes there are foxes that run around our house.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghrzgGsRJ-NmUTQpypBOjmd5mVQhG8QO4-Z20HLWotSGiLykRw0wx3Rd5JW0F9QNlNE-P0m8VWP-SKkT66qJUX65Sx4Ebqe5ywQIYE-0MyvOhg_soppOgr1lWh3jNK5Ev39MyBwgAb6FM/s1600/27853_401537082566_1802166_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghrzgGsRJ-NmUTQpypBOjmd5mVQhG8QO4-Z20HLWotSGiLykRw0wx3Rd5JW0F9QNlNE-P0m8VWP-SKkT66qJUX65Sx4Ebqe5ywQIYE-0MyvOhg_soppOgr1lWh3jNK5Ev39MyBwgAb6FM/s640/27853_401537082566_1802166_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The backyard is on a slope. We built a rock wall at the top
for a garden. The dog usually walks around the wall and knocks some of the
rocks off. The dog has also created these paths throughout the backyard, so
there’s no grass where he always walks. Dogs are weird. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know why, but as kids we thought the coolest thing
was to be able to climb the fences. We would climb the fences and sit on them
for hours. Kids are weird. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The backyard has a brick patio that is all sorts of not
level. There’s a fire pit on the edge of the porch. One night my friends and I were
having trouble starting a fire. So we used gasoline. There was a fireball that
scorched the trees around it. Jaimee freaked out on me. I don’t know why. It
started a fire. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The garage is supposed to hold 2 cars, but has only ever had
one. The dog has a kennel in the corner where he should sleep every night (he
sleeps inside because he’s spoiled). The other side has random things like
tools, bikes, hockey gear, baseball gear, and other collected crap. During the
summer, I would pull the car out of the driveway and shoot hockey pucks up the
driveway into the garage. There was a table against the wall that I would use
as a goal. The wall ended up looking like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v8EwAi3g8bWNjZElBHZat9fmTalqEt1JVp4lUQWYpUCSbR2xbTyFoxBRB7Jg3QFfdpyCDzj6inbUR9fse67UmLEZ1MlZ4RaDJkFqmGAz5xMxYUAcZa72h56orPvJMeCxIRj5_LADxzk/s1600/IMAG1088.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5v8EwAi3g8bWNjZElBHZat9fmTalqEt1JVp4lUQWYpUCSbR2xbTyFoxBRB7Jg3QFfdpyCDzj6inbUR9fse67UmLEZ1MlZ4RaDJkFqmGAz5xMxYUAcZa72h56orPvJMeCxIRj5_LADxzk/s640/IMAG1088.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One puck made it all the way through to the other side.
Oops. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
We used to play wiffle ball in the front yard and cul-de-sac all summer long. We'd pitch to each other in the backyard with real baseballs sometimes. Our neighbor hated how many fence panels we destroyed with errant pitches.<br />
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s not a mansion. It’s not fancy. It’s got
nicks and dings and scratches and scars. It’s my home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"So you pulled my heart out</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I don't mind bleeding.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I came to love you</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Am I born to bleed?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Any old time you keep me waiting.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Waiting. Waiting."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Lonely Boy- The Black Keys</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-65846041335070177282013-04-01T02:17:00.000-07:002013-04-01T16:38:15.085-07:00My Thoughts as of Late Volume 2I've been eating more vegetables lately. That doesn't mean
that I’m a healthier eater. Just that it’s been there and I've eaten it.
Asparagus, tomatoes, salad, etc. Things like beets, Brussels sprouts, and broccoli?
Still going to make me gag. Did I enjoy them? Yeah, sure.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I had to recommend reading one thing on the internet, at
this point in my life, I would recommend <a href="http://www.grantland.com/contributor/_/name/katie-baker" target="_blank">Katie Baker’s weekly column on Grantland</a>. She is as hyped by the Oilers’ young guns as I am. She “Nail”s it
every Thursday. It helps that I am in Geotech lab, which is boring, and I sit
in front of a computer for an hour while Andrew lectures on who knows what, so I
can watch each week’s sickest snipes. This video she posted one week is my favorite celebration ever. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tfysDNnuX64" width="560"></iframe><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whenever I go on vacation I forget to bring music. I detest the radio, so I always buy one CD to listen to in the car. One trip was Neon Bible
by Arcade Fire. My trip to DC was Brothers by The Black Keys. So now, every
time I listen to them, I thinking of sweating like crazy and taking a million
pictures of famous places. Also I think of driving along two lane highways of Virginia, Maryland,
and Pennsylvania on my way from my cousins’ house to Gettysburg to Camden
Yards. It was a good vacation. This was my favorite memorial on that trip. It
is right outside of Arlington Cemetery. I like it because my Great Grandfather
was a Seabee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhAFfVLpz3YPPM9pUsX0DYMZUS9o-49ewemRLzTSu1ViJ6hCB2zmctJ7n7MLQLI1sSrr5_1qL_5o-4h_F-4TaR73Q7Akjc97-_jXTVBWEiEvFy0ja54BNAEfpmv59nsZBSN5EldVcDV6M/s1600/IMG_5356.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhAFfVLpz3YPPM9pUsX0DYMZUS9o-49ewemRLzTSu1ViJ6hCB2zmctJ7n7MLQLI1sSrr5_1qL_5o-4h_F-4TaR73Q7Akjc97-_jXTVBWEiEvFy0ja54BNAEfpmv59nsZBSN5EldVcDV6M/s640/IMG_5356.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know how braggable this is, but I have become an
excel wizard. Give me something to do on a spreadsheet and consider it done, sahn.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My favorite show is Shameless. It is about a family in South
Chicago that has all odds stacked against them, and sometimes everything works
out in their favor, but most times nothing works out in their favor. It is
compelling. If it was easy, it wouldn't be hard. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Next week's season finale is going to be good.<br />
<br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/21-Jz2AePMI" width="560"></iframe>
</center>
<center>
<br /></center>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I've been struggling with school the last few weeks. I
bombed my last transportation test. I got a 58%. The first test I got a 92%. On
the last Geotech lab report we got back, our grade was a 14/20. The first
report we turned in, we got 20/20. I need to figure out how to focus right now,
but it’s not clicking. I’d rather read Calvin and Hobbes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched Star Wars Episode III by myself on Saturday night
and it was excellent.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jackson and I went to his parents’ house for Easter dinner
tonight and his dog attacked me. I hate that dog. I want to kick it every time I
see it. I held it down by the neck until someone grabbed him to take him in the
other room. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been on here a lot lately. I haven’t really had that
one person in my life to unload all my thoughts on, which is probably the
cause. Whenever I do, I’m silent on here for months. When I don’t, I’m always
typing up something useless. Look back at my summer in 2011. I was living at
home and had a total of one friend – Koda. I like being alone. I hate being
alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQwUwYTPDbvgMuGl_P3Xn1XvFzo-8bxemRcUR8DfaCopsau10cUSaVjoMaiBtuwEhHapuczZlgLo3EkN4aO9mB5vbT4FB12lEb9_ULayrS2rEjKF0SGT6sSIiKaFS0Tvvic3_8ouBb4E/s1600/1357334167687.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMQwUwYTPDbvgMuGl_P3Xn1XvFzo-8bxemRcUR8DfaCopsau10cUSaVjoMaiBtuwEhHapuczZlgLo3EkN4aO9mB5vbT4FB12lEb9_ULayrS2rEjKF0SGT6sSIiKaFS0Tvvic3_8ouBb4E/s400/1357334167687.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We hang out</div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a speeding ticket from a motorcycle cop a week ago. It
was in Sacramento. I was going 88 in a 65. Motorcycle cops don’t care for chit
chat. I've gotten two tickets from motorcycle cops, and they both said the same
things to me: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I pulled you over for speeding, can I have your license, registration,
and proof of insurance?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Here’s your ticket. Slow down. Have a nice day.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This last time I said, “Thank you.” For what? I felt like an
idiot as I drove away. Thank you for making me abide by the law, I guess. Thank
you for taking a chunk of change out of my wallet, I guess. Thank you for
making me be paranoid about cops for the rest of my trip, I guess. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can track where all of my page views are coming from. So to the Russian that looked at my blog 28 times last Wednesday, thank you. (That is a real sincere thank you, not a thank you like I gave that cop).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<br />
This happened:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBRUkBkv178FU4c83NW_Xwfd8AEYd-EtfOJnPq9bHTCucXup3itr5vQpyIAXSCu0CFN4er6QmPJPGPE6qQE612k6NEsi1jTScMOnaDfGwO-r_7OKxaO4IM2kzyOqzMt6PRwvaP_n8pHk/s1600/Screenshot_2013-03-15-21-13-45.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBRUkBkv178FU4c83NW_Xwfd8AEYd-EtfOJnPq9bHTCucXup3itr5vQpyIAXSCu0CFN4er6QmPJPGPE6qQE612k6NEsi1jTScMOnaDfGwO-r_7OKxaO4IM2kzyOqzMt6PRwvaP_n8pHk/s400/Screenshot_2013-03-15-21-13-45.png" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, April Fools, is my little brother’s birthday. Every
year I’m around for that, I give him an empty box, and every year I do that, I think
it is the funniest thing ever. He hates it. He hates most things I do. Like the
time he was ordained to the priesthood, he went around the room shaking hands.
When he got to me, I said, “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers kiss.” And I planted
one on his cheek. He said, “You’re weird.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I am excited to go home to my family in 2 weeks. Mostly I want
a haircut. My hair is at the stage that I hate it every day, so I just wear a
hat and hope for the best. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went out to eat with a friend from school on Friday. We went
to Flowing Tide Pub and I had some amazing fish and chips. If you live in Reno,
go get some ASAP. Even the tartar sauce (which I usually detest) was delicious.
The fish was nice and juicy. And their chips are real good, like the wild fries
at Good Times. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
SOMETIMES I LIKE TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE AS I SOUND IT
OUT IN MY MIND ITS LIKE I’M YELLING, BUT REALLY I’M JUST TYPING IN ALL CAPS.
NOT VERY DIFFERENT THAN NOT ALL CAPS. MANY HIPSTERS AKA KIESHA LIKE TYPING IN
NO CAPS EVER. THAT GETS REAL ANNOYING REAL FAST. OH, YOU’RE COOL BECAUSE YOU
THINK EVERYTHING SHOULD BE A WHISPER. ANNOYING.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friend AdriAnne tagged me in her blog to write a follow
up questionnaire that she had on her blog. I've sort of been wanting to do it,
but really I don’t want my answers to sound so clever. And for that type of questionnaire,
if they aren't clever, it’s boring. I would rather be clever all on my own.
Sorry, AdriAnne, I know I’ll get around to it eventually. Really.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been leaving my phone at home during school so that I’ll
focus more and not sit in class playing spider solitaire and refreshing twitter
every 3 minutes. When I get home, I expect my phone to be blown up and have 18
messages to respond to. But usually I only have one or two messages from my
brother. I’m not saying I don’t mind that. It kind of is convenient that I don’t
have to respond to anyone. Just Rusty Dusty. And then it’s usually a stupid joke
that is always hilarious. “Buggle up, it’s fun.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My sleep schedule the last couple of weeks has been stupid.
I never sleep at night anymore. I wish I did. The only days I get to sleep
before midnight anymore are Friday and Saturday. That means that I really
struggle making it to class on time and awake. I've been getting plenty of
headaches the last couple of weeks, and I’m attributing those to my lack of
sleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, I try listening to the same music I listened to
in high school, and I make it about 2 songs into an album and get sick of it.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Oh, oh-oh I've got a love that keeps me waiting,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, oh-oh I've got a love that keeps me waiting.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a lonely boy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a lonely boy.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, oh-oh I've got a love that keeps me waiting."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Lonely Boy- The Black Keys</div>
</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-59483784507279769312013-03-28T21:53:00.000-07:002013-03-28T21:53:34.128-07:00Things I like/do not likeThings I like:<br />
When the Avalanche win.<br />
<br />
Things I don't like:<br />
When the Avalanche don't win.<br />
<br />
I'm cranky and I thought you should know.devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-47030775709038930572013-03-23T04:39:00.003-07:002013-03-23T04:39:41.791-07:00Life Lessons<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Living in Reno has been quite the experience. I have become
used to seeing the strip clubs, slot machines in grocery stores, adult stores,
glitzy lights of the casinos, and run down trailer parks. I tend to stay far
away from the downtown area at night, it lost its luster long ago. Most restaurants
open late, even on the weekends are in the casinos. The food there likes to
throw my stomach into fits, so usually I would much rather cook up a chicken
quesadilla at home and call it a night. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I moved closer to downtown, and my new roommate, Jordan, is
hungry 18.5 hours out of the day. My other roommate, Jackson is hungry at least
18 hours out of the day. So between the three of us, someone is always hungry.
Sometimes hangry. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was Friday, somebody was hungry and nobody knew what to
eat. So we drove. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, I am the smallest of our group. And size-wise, I’m not
puny. Sure I might have small feet (same size 8s since the 7<sup>th</sup>
grade), but I’m still 6 foot and not skin and bone. On top of that, both Jordan and
Jackson hate the way I drive. I like to Tokyo drift around corners, back into
ATM bays, run pink lights, and listen to rock and roll at high volumes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So naturally I drove my car – the smallest that any of us
own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jackson complained when my music was too loud. Jordan played
with the radio to annoy me. They both yelled when I played pac man with the
dotted line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of all nobody had any idea of where to eat. Push came
to shove and we ended up driving up 8 floors of the parking garage of the El
Dorado casino. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went to Tivoli, a typical casino café. I wanted to take
our server Sue home to be our mother. She was the nicest. When I chose to eat
the fried chicken on the biscuit she said I made the right choice and she’d
bring extra gravy out for me. It was greasy, cheap, and delicious. All the
things I was looking for. It filled me right up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
J and J (they’re bound to start a boy band) were feeling
like high rollers and wanted to gamble. You see, I’ve had my gambling phase and
I really don’t care much to throw money around for nothing; that stresses me
out. But you can basically talk me into doing anything, so we went to the Peppermill.
I saw my friend Jess on the way there and she said that I am a creep. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First we played roulette. Gracie was our dealer and she
memorized our names. I felt VIP. But really, I was spending about the lowest
you can spend while looking for an hour of gambling. We had fun and I got
pretty lucky. I turned the 60 in my pocket into 145. That’s a decent pull. Just
some change. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGfcxB-Y40enclESuuK6ZLH5P_-1vxM1AF1XRVL5HQGGYbgsMJbg9kTK6bTGMFJY4aujz3NzF5ZTb9LV-1Y41SQujBs9bsrOIwo9iNT5ugwIDfWmuxswRfwVCZubaj3Xe-Q9JmlO4yfko/s1600/IMAG0228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGfcxB-Y40enclESuuK6ZLH5P_-1vxM1AF1XRVL5HQGGYbgsMJbg9kTK6bTGMFJY4aujz3NzF5ZTb9LV-1Y41SQujBs9bsrOIwo9iNT5ugwIDfWmuxswRfwVCZubaj3Xe-Q9JmlO4yfko/s320/IMAG0228.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, and here’s the moral of the story, the Blue Jays (get it Jackson? cause of the couch) lost 40 dollars apiece. So the moral goes:
don’t gamble, nobody wins. It’s useless. I taught them that lesson on the drive
home. Funny lessons you learn teaching kids every day. Psssh.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
"We folded arms and I felt your heart hum.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Speedy eyes and I want what I want...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I dreamt of nothingness in shades of red.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Honey, it never stops.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No, it never stops."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
-It Never Stops- Bad Books</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-53220514210712999602013-02-22T07:39:00.001-08:002013-02-24T18:17:51.514-08:00The Boy and the RiverA boy lived with his family, as most boys do. His family
consisted of his Father, his Mother, his older Sister, his other older Sister,
and his older Brother.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The family lived isolated by a great river. This river
supplied millions of gallons of water daily to a very large city. The very
large city was considering damming the river to create a reservoir, because
demand for water had skyrocketed. This was due to many factors, principally
being that many people had moved from other places to the very large city. They
planned to use the reservoir for times of drought, when the river was reduced
to a trickle. The family feared losing their house to the impending
construction project. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the city grew, the night sky became less dark. On the
horizon to the west, there was a faint glow where there was once a spilt
treasure chest of stars. To the east, the stars still contrasted spectacularly
against the dark universe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boy, his Brother, and his Father would go for hikes
through the hills and canyons surrounding their house most nights. Sometimes
the rest of the family would join.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One night the boy wished to go for a hike. He finished his
supper, cleared his plate, and requested that his Father and Brother join him.
His Father declined, “Another night. There’s a storm coming our way that I
would not like to get caught in.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next night, the storm was still going. The river was
rising. This was not a time of drought.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The water rushed and rushed and rushed. The family stayed
indoors and went about their lives normally. They read, or worked on a puzzle,
or played a board game. Wind and rain swirled around the isolated house but the
family was protected inside.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The residents of the very large city attended to their
business as usual. The storm had not reached the city. To them, it was of no
concern. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the wind and rain beat upon the many structures, some of
the structures failed. Trees split in two. Fences toppled over. But the house,
stronger than these, stood still.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Near the house a wood post fell. The difference between the
tree and the post (and this proved to be catastrophic) was that the post held
electric lines that ran to the house. The electricity in the house went out and
the house went dark and cold. The family did not worry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the post fell, the transformer at the top burst as it
hit the ground. It blew sparks and tiny explosions all around. The sparks
sparked a grass fire that grew to a brush fire that grew to a tree fire that
grew to a forest fire. Pretty soon inside the house was lit up again from the
glow of the growing fire. The Father and the Mother looked out the window at
the approaching flames and began to worry. They looked at each other and
whispered short sentences to each other. They said things like, “That is
awfully close.” “I don’t think it will reach us.” “The rain should put out the
flames.” “This will be a mess come morning.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The fire moved at a safe distance from the house. It moved
around and around as flames usually move. It consumed oxygen to the left and
the right, but not toward the house. Pretty quickly, a circle of fire
surrounded the house and trapped it against the river. The flames stayed at a
safe distance away from the house. By now the whole family had gathered at
different windows, watching the spectacle with eyes wide open. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The water in the
river rose. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The winds changed and the fire spread toward the house. The
radius of flame encircling the house shrunk until complete terror set in. The Mother
and the Father realized that night their
house would be ablaze. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Quick, out the door!” Shouted the Father.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hurry! Hurry! Don’t worry about anything!” Implored the
Mother.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The family rushed out the front door and the heat from the
fire warmed their faces. The rain dampened their hair. Everyone was frantic. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All eyes shot around looking for a hole in the fire. None
appeared as the fire approached. The only exit appeared to be the raging river.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Father commanded everyone to return to the house to grab
a piece of furniture to float on. He turned over the kitchen table and kicked
off its legs. He rushed out the back door towards the water. The boy grabbed a
wooden chair, and his siblings followed suit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The family reached the banks of the now vast river. They held
their pieces of furniture tight in their hands. Some kept them over their heads,
some at their side, the table where they had eaten their supper that evening
lay on the soaked soil. In panic they searched for a point to enter the water
as the fire caught the front of the house. It devoured the many fine things
inside. Blankets and rugs became fuel, the roast pig in the fire’s feast. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At that same time, a council in the large city voted in
favor of the dam project. They were unaware of the plight of the family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With their house ablaze the family entered the waters, all
clinging to handcrafted furniture. The boy’s oldest Sisters tightly clutched
the chairs they had brought. The Mother, the boy’s youngest Brother, and the
Father grabbed the door. The Father instructed, “Get to the other shore as soon
as you can. Use your legs to move and keep your head above water.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boy hesitated. He turned to look at the only home he had
known swallowed in flames. The fire moved devilishly towards the boy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He turned to see his family struggling to keep from drowning
as the rapids washed around and over them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He felt the temperature rise as the heat thing got close. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He gripped tighter around the seat of the chair and jumped
in the vast river.<br />
<br />
The boy wrestled his chair for supremacy. It took him down under the water and he fought back to get on top. They tussled back and forth and back and forth until they crashed into a boulder. Most of the force of the blow was given to the chair. The boy caught a good hit on his left leg, getting smashed between the current and the piece of granite.<br />
<br />
The boy let go of the collapsed chair. Now was the time to float alone and hope for the best. He stuck his legs out straight to the important parts of his body from hitting boulders. He laid out on his back and let the current pull him downstream. His leg throbbed in pain.<br />
<br />
After floating for around 30 seconds, the boy knew he needed to get to a safe place. He flipped his legs under his torso so he could get a good look around. He kicked his legs and thrust his arms about trying to get his momentum slowed down. He saw a shoreline he could get to if he swam.<br />
<br />
He turned in the direction of the shoreline. The current pushed downstream as he pushed sideways. He kicked mostly with his right leg. He kicked hard and pushed fiercely. His head sank deeper and deeper into the water. His mouth filled with water, his eyes they shook, he lunged for the bank.<br />
<br />
A hand caught his. He looked up to see his Father. He pulled the boy up onto a patch of gravel with the rest of his family.<br />
<br />
They looked across the river and upstream to the glow from the fire that consumed their home. They sat and watched and didn't say a word. The boy looked up at the stars looking for some kind of divine help. He sat there looking up for a very long time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-78911878258895652013-01-14T22:10:00.000-08:002013-01-14T23:35:23.140-08:00Prime Time RibIn high school, I had it easy. My senior year my hardest
class was definitely Zoology which I enjoyed ditching to watch both Ace
Venturas with my friend Austin while we chowed down on a bucket of K’n’F’n’C.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After every exhausting school day, I would come home to
watch Good Eats and Sportscenter. I learned a lot from Alton Brown, but never
really applied it. When I graduated, my culinary specialty was still only mac
and cheese. From the blue box. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lately I have been watching a lot of Iron Chef. America,
that is. I got into the Next Iron Chef season 4, so when season 5 started up – “Redemption”
– I was there every Sunday night. In season 4, I was disappointed when Chef
Alexandra Guarnaschelli and Chef Michael Chiarello were eliminated in the
penultimate challenge. They were my favorites to watch. I was so stoked that
Chef Guarnaschelli was offered “Redemption” and I root, root, rooted for her. I
recorded the final 2 episodes on my DVR because I had to head home to Colorado
for the holidays, but while I was watching late night TV, they had a commercial
for the first competition of the winner of this season’s Iron Chef: Chef
Guarnaschelli. Great. All of that suspense went straight out the window.
Regardless I had to watch it and was amazed at how at the same point that she
was eliminated in the season before, she went into this sort of “robot mode,”
where everything she did was insanely precise and quite intimidating.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I saw the holiday special of The Best Thing I Ever Ate
with Chef Guarnaschelli making her prime rib, I wanted to try to make it. It didn’t
look too difficult to accomplish. So with my mom’s credit card, try I did. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is
what happened in words and pictures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a alexandra-guarnaschelli="alexandra-guarnaschelli" href="http://www.blogger.com/%E2%80%9D" http:="http:" index.html="index.html" recipes="recipes" roast-prime-rib-of-beef-with-yorkshire-pudding-recipe="roast-prime-rib-of-beef-with-yorkshire-pudding-recipe" www.foodnetwork.com="www.foodnetwork.com">Here
is the recipe for your viewing pleasure.</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
This is the rib roast that I purchased. It had that thick layer
of fat on top with some decent marbling throughout. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_2MSTZ79MxbHBXsl6uXiERPMJKpZEKhLUhxRGQl9PUe4iTxkpa6cfG8q8EHyUsKWAx2FH23JFEOjcxH3r3FEhphG0SU_nqM10Pr6z51hWeMJqgrgV85mQjGvs5fQTHhTpE1ty6lVd4es/s1600/IMAG1069.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_2MSTZ79MxbHBXsl6uXiERPMJKpZEKhLUhxRGQl9PUe4iTxkpa6cfG8q8EHyUsKWAx2FH23JFEOjcxH3r3FEhphG0SU_nqM10Pr6z51hWeMJqgrgV85mQjGvs5fQTHhTpE1ty6lVd4es/s320/IMAG1069.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
I seared the roast on this. That hole on the bottom was no bueno. The grease dripped down onto the burner and smoked out my house.<br />
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<br />
<br />
I made the peppercorn/honey mustard paste and spread it on top. I kind of got messy with it and it went all over the kitchen.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
This is the Yorkshire pudding I whipped up after I threw the roast in the oven.<br />
<br />
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<br />
After 10 minutes.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Near the end.<br />
<br />
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<br />
When we pulled it out.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lwILE24U-_GgXbjpAHHI-PiTFrNThyphenhyphenqakrmYMC-ubKtZ2RBcw20GPAiMjb1YnTiSfp5ua-eCyl18i_ltJN-iGeiil3DvTsM4lmwNHqP6D0-ctCn_Y8aPZbBN4kyyWbB5VzjuOMgpZ_I/s1600/IMAG1084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lwILE24U-_GgXbjpAHHI-PiTFrNThyphenhyphenqakrmYMC-ubKtZ2RBcw20GPAiMjb1YnTiSfp5ua-eCyl18i_ltJN-iGeiil3DvTsM4lmwNHqP6D0-ctCn_Y8aPZbBN4kyyWbB5VzjuOMgpZ_I/s320/IMAG1084.jpg" width="191" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5_Tz10z_x1thy_IrjwCcg-Kog4hftnEkX-n6wwWca-9yM3mwN1vKsRPCrdfsriXNe8THZM38NHrOFoY5x_6cxhQZliMvs8mcfNxaBQsu5TnlJ55ISMFwNa0WCORBl0SqTBJLmDZkqW_8/s1600/IMAG1083.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5_Tz10z_x1thy_IrjwCcg-Kog4hftnEkX-n6wwWca-9yM3mwN1vKsRPCrdfsriXNe8THZM38NHrOFoY5x_6cxhQZliMvs8mcfNxaBQsu5TnlJ55ISMFwNa0WCORBl0SqTBJLmDZkqW_8/s320/IMAG1083.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
The Yorkshire in the oven. I forgot about it, so that didn’t turn out at all.<br />
<br />
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<br />
The hardest part was definitely cutting it. I didn’t know what to do, so mom jumped in.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCf8VXUperkrbQ2lHilquanIiY8J1pEwhJBrThyqH0dmBbqk8pD1hMrQLL6VMnb2UYmdsVJeWNnytxSiNQFWjvqsg18BpGJ8hZoowM_ePqJ_ZQaNYWtM755_JiQD7PT_mT-5iucUMc2K4/s1600/IMAG1086.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCf8VXUperkrbQ2lHilquanIiY8J1pEwhJBrThyqH0dmBbqk8pD1hMrQLL6VMnb2UYmdsVJeWNnytxSiNQFWjvqsg18BpGJ8hZoowM_ePqJ_ZQaNYWtM755_JiQD7PT_mT-5iucUMc2K4/s320/IMAG1086.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
<br />
It was pretty rare, but really juicy and tasty.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Needless to say, I am
no Iron Chef. But I’m willing to learn. And if I ever go to NYC, I’m going to
Chef Guarnaschelli’s restaurant, Butter, and I am praying this is on the menu,
so I can taste what it is really supposed to be like.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Appendix: also, when I was out getting some meat, I bought
some jeans at Hollister, because there isn’t a Hollister store in Reno. I don’t
know if it is funny to the workers there or what, but this is the bag I got. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJP6u5Kyt3b_s8Bu6mluIY-IVvSYePk3aYmvxltGcwKUQot44BwRvuueXl6jb8ICcitaWSJeE3_mPwsuu0LUkpj6Q9OH6PFZDp_1ZAnQIxdDoBaThDVubzKrL3z2930C3wVue_ddKXcA4/s1600/IMAG1066.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJP6u5Kyt3b_s8Bu6mluIY-IVvSYePk3aYmvxltGcwKUQot44BwRvuueXl6jb8ICcitaWSJeE3_mPwsuu0LUkpj6Q9OH6PFZDp_1ZAnQIxdDoBaThDVubzKrL3z2930C3wVue_ddKXcA4/s320/IMAG1066.jpg" width="191" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks Hollister, I do enjoy walking around with a bag of a man who is taking his pants off provocatively. I need to 1) buy jeans at a different store or 2) shop online.</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-83326748836677402112012-12-30T22:14:00.001-08:002012-12-30T22:21:05.118-08:00How I Almost Vehicular ManslaughteredI think it’s time that I write down some memorable stories from my
life. This particular story starts on March 24, 2008. I did not have a job. The
only big plans I had were to go on my mission (check a few posts back for some
stories on that) one week later. So to kill some time, I decided to visit a few
friends from my college days (which I’m eternally stuck in) in Rexburg, Idaho.
Tucker Davis thought this was a good idea and he had nothing better to do, so
he decided to join me on the trip.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
That day I had a lead foot. Well, in those days every day I had a lead
foot. So they say. I was driving my dad’s Volkswagen Jetta. Most cars in the
United States, whether they are foreign or domestic have governors that shut
down the engine if they reach a certain speed, usually around 110 mph.
Volkswagens don’t have that restriction.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We left at a decent time in the morning. Usually the drive from Castle
Rock to Rexburg will take about 12 hours. We were making pretty good time. We
had to stop to get Tucker’s paycheck and we got Cap’n Crunch milkshakes at
Charley’s but we hit the Wyoming state line pretty quickly. Tucker had the
bright idea of bringing his police scanner so that my lead foot wouldn’t get
caught. It worked pretty good near Greeley (which smells like poop, and if you
don’t believe me, go there) when it beeped at us to slow us down and sure
enough a quarter mile down the road, there was Johnny Law speed checking. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Like I said we were making pretty good time. Actually we were making
excellent time. And by excellent, I mean we hit Laramie in about 1.5 hours.
Which usually takes 3-4 hours. If I remember right we had maxed out at 120 mph,
which up until that moment was my personal land speed record. Then the fun
started.<br />
<br />
I-80 through Wyoming looks like this:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnNayz_7tJq_wvc2HP08zWzm9Z2-vtd0WkOnCFcrS_wcUuaA3q4iM-V_yyjvG8oDcuANz9Q8swHxSnjXWqeN3_1UoegRbOyZtzbKDQBc4sxfCI_8yBmmFv_TYUX3-LJLiaw7dwO30ICk0/s1600/Wyoming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnNayz_7tJq_wvc2HP08zWzm9Z2-vtd0WkOnCFcrS_wcUuaA3q4iM-V_yyjvG8oDcuANz9Q8swHxSnjXWqeN3_1UoegRbOyZtzbKDQBc4sxfCI_8yBmmFv_TYUX3-LJLiaw7dwO30ICk0/s1600/Wyoming.jpg" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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Yes, Wyoming is that boring. So it is best to drive as fast as you can
to get out of that wretched place. And plus, it is really easy to drive fast
because of how straight the freeway is. I wanted to see just how fast I could
go. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I handily beat my personal land speed record. I took a picture of the
max, which was 147 mph. At that speed, when there’s a bump in the road, the car
catches some air, or so it seems. The steering wheel feels unstable. And other
cars seem pretty slow. We went really fast for a really long time. I think we
averaged 115-120. When we had to slow down to 80 for the other traffic, it felt
like we were driving through a school zone. Tucker fell asleep a few times. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Then as we were coming down the pass in to Rock Springs, I saw
something I dreaded behind me. It was a brown state trooper car up to no good.
As I merged right from the far left lane, the cop car followed and merged as
well. That was not a good sign. At that point I was only doing 80, so I thought
it might be a routine thing and that I wasn’t in trouble. Then the red and blue
flashing lights came on. Still, I felt slightly confident that this was a
routine traffic stop. I pulled over and rolled down my window. The cop stopped
behind me and stepped out of her vehicle. Yes, her. She approached my car and
stopped at the trunk and said, “Driver, stop the engine and step out of the
vehicle.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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This was when I thought that maybe I was caught. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I walked towards the officer and she asked, “Do you know how fast you
were going?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“I don’t know, probably 80?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“I registered you going 120.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Ummm, ok.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“You are under arrest. Turn around and place your hands behind your
back.” </div>
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<br /></div>
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That was odd; I’d never heard those words before besides on the
television. I didn’t feel like causing a commotion, so I did just that. She
asked if I had any weapons on my person, which I didn’t and she cuffed me. I
had a thick watch on that when she cuffed me started to dig pretty good into my
wrist. Handcuffs aren’t comfortable at all. They make your wrists bend slightly
uncomfortably outwards. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
This wasn’t my first interaction with an officer of the law. Usually I
felt that they felt they needed to assert some authority and move on. I thought
this might be one of those moments at first. That she would cuff me, talk to
me, give me a ticket and move on. Then she put me in the back of her car. Well,
that was turn for the worse. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Mostly, I felt confused. I like planning events in my life, and this
definitely was unplanned. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
She had taken my driver’s license out of my back pocket, but she and
Tucker couldn’t find the vehicle insurance. She called in to headquarters that
she was on her way to the detention center to bring me in. 10-4.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
On the drive I asked what was going to happen and she told me that we
would go to the station, they would book me in, then Tucker, who was following
us, could bail me out and/or I’d talk to the judge. </div>
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According to Wyoming state records we arrived at the Sweetwater County
Detention Center at 1:53 PM. The officer pulled into a garage, then let me out
of the car where she led me into the booking center. Once in there, another
officer took off my handcuffs and told me to stand against the wall, to spread
my legs shoulder width apart and to place my hands on the wall at the same
distance apart. He cleaned out all of my pockets, took my belt, my jacket, and
my pride. He put all my personal items in a Ziploc bag which he put in a slot
where an officer on the other side took it. We went through a door into an
office area where other inmates were shackled. They had just gotten back from
their inmate work release program. They went to their cells. I was shell
shocked. </div>
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<br /></div>
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They had me sit in an uncomfortable orange plastic chair. I sat in the
middle of three, which were backed by three other chairs. They were planted
firmly in the floor, I suppose so that the criminals won’t throw them. That is
effective design. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Three officers typed away as I sat there. The officer that arrested me
came in with the report she had written out and said that she had put me at 110
mph because I did not resist arrest. One of the officers told me that I should
possibly be able to see the judge that afternoon and then be on my way. Every
officer I met would say, “120?!?! You could’ve killed somebody.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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They took mug shots. Face forward. Turn to the right. Turn to the left.
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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I waited. They showed me the formal charges: 1) No proof of insurance,
2) Speed over 75, 3) something absurd like “Excessive speed with attempted
vehicular manslaughter.” I don’t remember the exact words of the charge, but
that was the general idea, that I was going so effing fast that I was trying to
kill my passenger. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The judge turned out to be lazy and wanted to go home, so I wasn’t able
to see him that day. So they gave me some prison clothes to change into and
told me that in the name of habeas corpus I would see a judge within 24 hours,
but that I was staying the night.<br />
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The officer that checked me for contraband when I was checked in took
me to a room where he gave me my yellow jumpsuit, some socks and some shoes to
wear. The jump suit felt stiffer than a board and the shoes were more flimsy
than a piece of cooked spaghetti. That usually should be the opposite, but I’m
not a fashion designer. I was pulled out of my shock and for the first time
thought, “Ah, crap, what have I gotten myself into?” when I pulled on my socks
and they ripped pretty cleanly.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
They took mug shots again. Then they cuffed me again and gave me a
Ziploc bag of personal items I could use – an ink cartridge, a spork, a paper
cup, some soap, some shampoo, a personal razor, a towel. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
They took me to cell block D. There, they uncuffed me and I was given a cell and I was free to roam.
The cell block consisted of two stories of cells opposite a one-way mirrored
wall. There were 4 tables with benches attached- the kind found in an
elementary school cafeteria, and about 5 tables with plastic lawn chairs
scattered about the common space. The inmates seemed calm. I met my cell mate,
he was an Asian guy about the same age as me, he was in for marijuana
distribution.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The cell had cinderblock walls and a small window above the metal bunk
about the size of a cinder block. There was a metal toilet in the cell and a
sink and mirror above that. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I sat in a chair and observed the scene. One inmate with a long green
mohawk paced back and forth in front of the upstairs cells. One inmate came out
of his cell and yawned a large yawn, he was particularly memorable because his
chest and back were even hairier than my dad’s. Had an unkempt head of hair and
large beard. There was little skin visible. His cell mate had just gotten back
from outdoor exercise and was particularly boisterous. They had become the best
of friends.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Dinner came in on a cart around 6. We had to line up single file and we
filled our cups with either water or tang. I chose water. For dinner was beef
stroganoff. That meal is the reason I cringe whenever stroganoff is mentioned.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
At 7:30 we had an hour long lockdown. That was routine, and they did a
head count. I grabbed a Tom Clancy book from the book cart, and I read a good
portion of it, but I don’t think I comprehended any sentence of it. After we
were let out of our cells, I sat at a table with some more experienced inmates
and we played rummy.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
One was doing time for his third DUI offense, and this time he was
caught drinking while operating heavy machinery at work. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Another was doing time for assault. He had a 30 day sentence that he
originally was serving only Friday afternoons until Sunday afternoons, so that
he could work during the week. When he missed a couple weeks of that, the judge
made him stay straight through the 30 days and tacked on 5 more for good
measure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
At 10:30, it was lock down time again. I climbed on my bed, which was a
blanket on top of the metal slab and got under another blanket. It was cold.
Not bone chilling, but enough to be uncomfortable. Other inmates yelled the
whole night. Just kept on yelling and yelling and yelling. From around midnight
until 2:30 there was a crew of inmates waxing the floors. I did not really
sleep. I just laid there and wondered what I had gotten myself into.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
When morning rolled around I sat around waiting for court to come. The
more experienced inmates told me that I could go at either 10 or 11 or 12,
depending on whether it was state or county or city court that I was going to.
Breakfast was corn flakes in paper bowls. I don’t eat corn flakes anymore.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
10 rolled around and no one came for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
11 came and went and no one came to get me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The clock struck 12 and 5 minutes later a guard came and called my
name. She cuffed me and walked me down the hall to the booking center.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I was told that the judge was going to see me an hour from then. They
put me in a holding cell and gave me a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I had
2 bites.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
They pulled me out of the cell and had me kneel on the orange chairs.
Then they proceeded to put me in shackles. When I stood up, that was a moment
where I truly felt in every way like a criminal.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
There was one other inmate going to court at the same time. She was my
age and looked like a complete mess. She had ratty hair and mascara smeared all
over. Her eyes were sunken and she looked malnourished. She wasn’t skinny, she
just looked unhealthy. Her name was Seanna, and she was being charged with
child endangerment and possession of a controlled substance. That substance was
meth. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2pi2n9pMzUOb6OkvUWNCRlSRBzEEVSdd4PPIGUF9WILXmat60IXvtGBJsFpskZa0c0P24jme-jSs2ao20ECVQj_S5mwQcohv1wYPUe-_FE0negrhaVXwH9C0AOSxbx16Cproaz29Ac8/s1600/mugshot2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2pi2n9pMzUOb6OkvUWNCRlSRBzEEVSdd4PPIGUF9WILXmat60IXvtGBJsFpskZa0c0P24jme-jSs2ao20ECVQj_S5mwQcohv1wYPUe-_FE0negrhaVXwH9C0AOSxbx16Cproaz29Ac8/s1600/mugshot2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Please note that we have the same expression in our mug shots.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
We were loaded into a van and chained to the floor. They drove us to
the courthouse.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPnhD6gtIPtCZn3UeG8Gdd-CDSD6uEPxlFfpEjIKY3qgL4LFJDdXP6r9a8fq90tjQxMhtdi3OKsZlR9VYnuZIDSCSK18CRV7BZocgXxzG_4puvsUs9ViLubi3yXiL9EIOjgt4L4r4T1NE/s1600/Court.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPnhD6gtIPtCZn3UeG8Gdd-CDSD6uEPxlFfpEjIKY3qgL4LFJDdXP6r9a8fq90tjQxMhtdi3OKsZlR9VYnuZIDSCSK18CRV7BZocgXxzG_4puvsUs9ViLubi3yXiL9EIOjgt4L4r4T1NE/s320/Court.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Then they led us to the courtroom on the second floor. We sat down in the criminal section. About five minutes after we arrived, Tucker showed up. When he saw me he started laughing. He couldn’t stop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
The judge came in and we rose in his honor. I was the first to go and
was asked to take the defendants place. They uncuffed my right hand so I could
write, pledge and use it to wipe away my tears. I didn’t cry. I had no reason
to, but just in case there was a tissue box to the side of the podium. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The district attorney presented the charges. Adding on to the charges
he stated that it is noted that I had a radar detector in my car, so that
presented my state of mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
The judge asked how I pled, and I said, “Guilty.” He asked if I had
anything to say about it, and I said that it was a dumb choice and that I
wanted to pay maximum fines/whatever to get out of jail and to go on my mission
the next week. The judge asked the district attorney what kind of sentencing
the state pursued and the D.A. said maximum fines and sentence. He also noted
that if needed, he knew how to get a hold of my mission and M.T.C. presidents
if I didn’t comply with my sentencing. The judge thought for a moment and gave
a sentence of 20 days in jail with maximum fines. Having served 1 day already,
that left 19 and he told me that those 19 would be served on probation, with
the probation being that I couldn’t break any type of law. He also noted that
maximum fines were only $200, and that the Wyoming legislature should consider
raising those. I also had to show proof of insurance within 24 hours. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I sat down with a weight off my shoulders. I felt relieved even though
I was cuffed again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Seanna took the stand and sobbed uncontrollably. She used the tissue
box. It was her 7<sup>th</sup> arrest, and her third time with the child
endangerment and possession of meth charges. She hasn’t been arrested again in
Sweetwater County, so maybe the third time’s the charm. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1224557863002401832" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1224557863002401832" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>We went out in to the hallway to the clerk’s desk where we could sign
our documents and Tucker met me there. He had my card and was going to pay the
fines so that I could be released as soon as I got back to the jail. They put
us back in the van and took us back to the detention center. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I waited until all the court proceedings went through and then I was
uncuffed and given my clothes and personal items. I changed and left. Tucker
was waiting for me in the waiting room and I just started laughing when I saw
him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
He told me that he had talked to my mom already. She had called my
phone 11 times, and on the 12<sup>th</sup> he decided to finally answer. He said
that when he broke the news she started laughing. She laughs about it to this
day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
We went back to the courthouse to show proof of insurance, which sure
enough was in the glove box.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I had Tucker drive the rest of the way to Rexburg, there was no way I was
risking getting in any trouble. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I still have my ID card from the Sweetwater County Detention Center,
and I have found my mug shot and all booking information online at <a href="https://jailtracker.com/JTClientWeb/(S(y0fr23y5aw22io55lfobe055))/jailtracker/Index/sweetwater_county_wy" target="_blank"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">https://jailtracker.com/JTClientWeb/(S(y0fr23y5aw22io55lfobe055))/jailtracker/Index/sweetwater_county_wy</span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
That is also where I found all of Seanna’s information as well. I
rifled through mug shots of people booked in on the same day as me, and I recognized
her almost immediately.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"I am the fortunate one, left with the blood in my skin.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the only thing I hope is real in a dark world.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am the fortunate one, left with the blood in my limbs.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You are the only thing I hope is real in a dark world."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
- Last Breath - O'Brother</div>
</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-63884409978502672812012-09-25T15:31:00.003-07:002012-09-25T16:38:29.121-07:00Ode To J.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
My roommate is pretty neat but would be better if he shut
the dang door and spray the febrezey after he poops.<br />
<br />
We share music
occasionally. You see, he is into hip-hop and I’m more drawn towards modern rock
‘n’ roll, which his pops refers to as “pop.” But we branch out due to each
other’s influence. I listen to Watch the Throne, he listens to Daisy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One time in March I bought him two goldfish at Wal-Mart. He
wasn’t expecting it. One of them died. The other is miraculously alive. I’m not
saying he is a poor fish keeper. I just have never known of a goldfish that
lives for more than a week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We share some common interests:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Baja Blast</li>
<li>Baseball</li>
<li>Stupid humor</li>
<li>Repo Games</li>
<li>Obama</li>
<li>Room service</li>
<li>Sports video games</li>
<li>Star Wars</li>
<li>Saying brajh</li>
</ul>
<br />
We also don’t share common interests (he loves these things):<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Nickleback</li>
<li>Vegetables on pizza</li>
<li>Politics</li>
<li>Talking before breakfast</li>
<li>The DH</li>
<li>Interleague play</li>
<li>The Seahawks' uniforms</li>
<li>24</li>
<li>LMFAO</li>
<li>Cranking the A/C in the middle of the night</li>
</ul>
</div>
<br />
Regardless, I appreciate Mr. Aycock. He is a business major
and enjoyed his marketing class last semester. I thought I would apply the
principles of marketing and some prime ad space: our front door. Every day for
days I posted some guerilla advertising for him. Here goes nothing.<br />
<br />
<center>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003879993/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8313/8003879993_4b465d2274.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003880412/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8447/8003880412_cc9b7c2d3e.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003878399/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8173/8003878399_63d8e6b997.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003878947/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8447/8003878947_bcefc99018.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003871377/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8303/8003871377_bbe6716fd2.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003870202/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8444/8003870202_e44157003c.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003868154/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8042/8003868154_2627b4a20c.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8003867099/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8039/8003867099_3e38bc1776.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8004288077/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="500" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8318/8004288077_f220bac39d.jpg" width="299" /></a><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85978274@N03/8004287031/" title="Untitled by dkendallunr1, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="299" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8446/8004287031_b53f89580e.jpg" width="500" /></a></center>
This is the treasure he got. I must say I am a pretty fantastic roommate. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"I'm a mountain that has been moved.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a river that is all dried up.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm an ocean nothing floats on.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a sun that doesn't burn hot.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a mouth that doesn't smile.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a word that no one ever wants to say.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a mountain that has been moved.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a fugitive that has no legs to run.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm a preacher with no pulpit,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Spewing this sermon that goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on."</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-Daisy- Brand New</div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-16931398523237412922012-08-24T02:03:00.000-07:002012-08-24T02:57:08.874-07:00Canadian Tire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwfowEEpkgtrROpudkzkqXKc9KHqXoxhzpEzsgej2iB0kJVeTniJ_SZTMIx-ZxECxha4bSqJehq-YrfZdJGK_ZE8m7uuuY4tvfiMZ5OF0yBK54I2HOrEHTtDjUNnr7DusiE-iJVBnRnkI/s1600/IMAG0467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwfowEEpkgtrROpudkzkqXKc9KHqXoxhzpEzsgej2iB0kJVeTniJ_SZTMIx-ZxECxha4bSqJehq-YrfZdJGK_ZE8m7uuuY4tvfiMZ5OF0yBK54I2HOrEHTtDjUNnr7DusiE-iJVBnRnkI/s640/IMAG0467.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say Canada is a wasteland.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say summer is too short.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say the world is increasingly violent.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say senior citizens are senile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say hearts don't bleed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say water is contaminated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say success is measured by numbers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say history repeats itself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say disease is spreading.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say families fall apart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say wild animals attack.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say hockey is a lesser sport.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say ginger ale is for sick stomachs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say I am a robot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say I am no different.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say I am a failure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Press play and click on the fullscreen icon in the bottom right corner for full effect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Canada is beautiful through and through.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This summer has memories to fill a lifetime.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The people I've met are all peaceful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elderly have the best morals in their stories.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My heart bled.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I drink water in nature every day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Success is in your mind.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every day is a new experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Free healthcare.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My family loves me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stood 5 feet from a black bear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hockey is life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ginger ale goes with any meal.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am Devon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a beautiful future.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“The most
beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known
suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the
depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding
of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-Elizabeth Kubler Ross</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #222222; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-29639277647169301512012-06-13T02:50:00.001-07:002012-06-13T02:54:10.238-07:00How to be Efficient:<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nobody likes wasting time. Wasting time is for suckers. And
people that have time on their hands. Some people put time on their
backs with tattoos. Most of those are ridiculous and ugly. By the way time is
not money. Time is "The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future as a whole." Money is “A current medium of exchange in the form
of coins and banknotes; coins and banknotes collectively.” Do you sense
the difference?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Even with time and money being different, there’s several
ways to highlight the benefits of efficiency. </div>
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First and foremost think about your microwave. Usually the
newer models love efficiency. Press one button for however long you want to
cook something. That’s awesome. But with older models, thinking is required. Thinking
creates efficiency. Say I need to cook a hot pocket. The suggested cooking time
for Easy Mac is three and three quarters minutes. So usually you would punch in
3-4-5 on the keypad to get that cheese soup with noodles warmed up. Try this
next time: 3-3-3, which requires one button pushed instead of three buttons,
plus you’re saving 12 whole seconds by doing this! Do you really think that
microwaveable pasta elbows are going to be that much less cooked if they miss out
on 12 seconds of sauna time? </div>
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Other useful microwave substitutions include (keep this on a
sticky note on your microwave to remember): </div>
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6-0 instead of 1-0-0 for one
minute. Or better yet, 5-5. </div>
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9-0 or 9-9 instead of 1-3-0 for a
minute and a half.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Here is the following example of me finding an efficient to
get invited to sushi the next time that happens: </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7muH-nDly2rFNwZmXdbSPNxMYDNoF6P5CJAs1LTleMNIqRVxgUiu9brQHHjZa11_QhXXMvXl7F2Wyc1s-pvDBfsxdJ_1jUUF9LhdO_7K0Xp9YWsIrhivmmnlck7OD7mJuEhECuWPngrg/s1600/JacksonFacewaste.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7muH-nDly2rFNwZmXdbSPNxMYDNoF6P5CJAs1LTleMNIqRVxgUiu9brQHHjZa11_QhXXMvXl7F2Wyc1s-pvDBfsxdJ_1jUUF9LhdO_7K0Xp9YWsIrhivmmnlck7OD7mJuEhECuWPngrg/s1600/JacksonFacewaste.jpg" /></a></div>
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Daniel learned his lesson and invited me to sushi. I think
we’re back to being friends. I sure hope so, he’s a nice guy.</div>
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This is an example of me being efficient in getting energy
in exchange for internet that I would’ve let him use for free anyways: </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtB9fCeKpchAyUyWEVKFjQJsUv7cvbhEGV4nj8hxqapSWpfRnVsmvqXHNqyoFNkYFJyN9x0Vo9JCp7jWEQDdoH2bSJ6VP3-c9aGV9tZtW6L0I5xXfYjXRMMpTftaHaXZe5-rqsAzF1JI/s1600/DanielFacewaste.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtB9fCeKpchAyUyWEVKFjQJsUv7cvbhEGV4nj8hxqapSWpfRnVsmvqXHNqyoFNkYFJyN9x0Vo9JCp7jWEQDdoH2bSJ6VP3-c9aGV9tZtW6L0I5xXfYjXRMMpTftaHaXZe5-rqsAzF1JI/s1600/DanielFacewaste.jpg" /></a></div>
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Apparently Daniel and I are good friends again. He uses my
internet, I get sugary drinks. Little does he know I would’ve let him use it
even if he hadn’t got me that lemonade. But he doesn’t. And now I expect one
every time he comes to use my bandwidth.</div>
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For some people using one pillow instead of two is
efficiency. For me, bedding-wise, I use one queen sized sheet on a twin
mattress because then all you have to do is flip the mattress every two weeks
and cut laundry in half! </div>
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Speaking of laundry, efficiency is why laundry chutes were
created. Who wants to carry a big load down the stairs when you can just chuck
all your clothes down a hole in the wall? Heck, even use your queen size sheet as
a parachute to save you time. </div>
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Now I propose the idea of making a whole room a giant
mattress, this way, you never have to make it all the way to your bed before
lying down because everywhere is sleep land. I can’t remember if Daniel or I
thought of this, but it is pretty genius.</div>
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Need to impress a girl but you don’t have time to learn how
to sing and your voice is just as horrendous as mine? Put on Frank Sinatra and
lip sync to make any girl’s heart melt. Particularly effective with “Way You
Look Tonight.”</div>
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Is she not impressed enough yet? Does she want a piano
playing man and you don’t know how? Easy enough. Just take some wire cutters,
cut all the strings in a baby grand and throw a Bluetooth speaker system in
there. When you sit down to play, throw on some classical piano through your
music player and “play” along. Something that takes some people a whole life to
perfect only takes you about 10 minutes. </div>
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If you like wearing shoes outside but not inside, the
easiest fix is Mary’s favorite fix: flip flops. </div>
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Another idea from Mary: instead of calling it the “Engineering
Computing Center in the James G. Scrugham Engineering & Mines Building on
the campus of the University of Nevada – Reno,” she just calls it “nerdville.”
Instead of 23 syllables, she uses 2. Wow!</div>
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Instead of emailing my little brother I just get on Gmail
when he’s online because he can use the chat on Gmail. Sure it might be 2 in
the morning where I am, but it is 11 AM in Mozambique and it saves me the pain
of writing him a ton.</div>
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My older brother is a pretty efficient brother. This is all
he’s sent me in the past month to know he’s alive:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5O6AvEM3Lu_G2sX29DYZHGsXM2jJMhk_nthDdTQ1E0e0HQ7rrOSIzG2LKRJNi6HEJTUBB5V1PYoqZuYHyDLuEB0RdJIO0WVfmZbVL9LGSO-rz3CH3G44FIAIYQkWzUwNSBcvFwMdokjk/s1600/zooeydavechapelle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5O6AvEM3Lu_G2sX29DYZHGsXM2jJMhk_nthDdTQ1E0e0HQ7rrOSIzG2LKRJNi6HEJTUBB5V1PYoqZuYHyDLuEB0RdJIO0WVfmZbVL9LGSO-rz3CH3G44FIAIYQkWzUwNSBcvFwMdokjk/s400/zooeydavechapelle.jpg" width="276" /></a></div>
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Good laughs and letting me know his body is not chopped up
and spread across Denver’s dumpsters all by sending me this. That’s efficiency
for sure. </div>
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Imagine you are pumping gas and you have to pee but the
stupid handle on the pump doesn’t have that piece of metal to keep it pumping
on its own. If you’re smart, you’ll always keep a plastic soda bottle in your
car in order to put it in the handle so you can go do your business and get a
candy bar while you refuel. </div>
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Instead of plugging in thumb drives and taking them out and
then plugging them in somewhere else and then unplugging them again, I just
email my homework to myself to move from computer to computer. Plus the less
weight you carry, the faster you can walk. Unless you weigh as much as a
feather cause then the wind will blow you around. Then life just sucks and
blows. </div>
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Living efficiently is not only bound to these few ideas.
There is the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. Living by the spirit
of the law means thinking of new efficient ideas in order to enrich your life. The
more efficient you are, the smarter you will feel and the happier you will
become. </div>
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"I love how you curse when I wake you up."</div>
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-Pistol- Dustin Kensrue</div>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-52144905776584987032012-04-07T21:24:00.001-07:002012-04-08T21:08:30.034-07:00A Toast<div>
<br />
2 years ago, on April 7, 2010, I flew from Orlando
International Airport to Denver International Airport via Dallas/Fort Worth
International Airport. That evening, I removed my nametag identifying me as
Elder Kendall of La Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ùltimos Dìas. I can’t
explain the emotions, but those that have been through it know the feeling.<br />
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Today, I am feeling nostalgic. </div>
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I am always asked the question, “Do you miss it?” That’s the
worst question to ask me. Of course I miss it. Every day was an adventure. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqkl3cW_h7OtNo52_UXKYN_m_wG0_fa-unnBpbPeuoL3aB1DlGkFSx989QV5Rojv6Cv1VSkOTA94vIJ6ZiB0rhyphenhyphenR-K3o1iJTaGtp59iyk33GRIf9ooFIEb59ErnjJPQN_J514Su7YDYDo/s1600/Devon+Mission+2009-10+071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddiCdrdeqsC6ms18MSg5ZdidJhujvKJJPTXNEvGfsvTy3CZehpR5aDvfGMBKR9u0Sp9Ruuf5usZ6xZ4Hjt3RTY9HOKy7TeztqaPC3DIS1IMfAHUn6fMs9-MONmvlBeMXU_Gv5vY4RX6w/s1600/Devon+Mission+2009-10+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a>But it’s a weird type of “miss it.” If someone called and
said, “Hey, I have a plane ticket for you to go back to Florida to be a
missionary again,” would I take it? Absolutely not. I am convinced that if my
mission lasted 5 years, I would not care for it in the same way that I do now,
but then again there have been 14 year missionaries in history, and they loved
it all. All that I know, regardless of hypothetical situation, I loved those 2
years, and I am glad I was there and nowhere else. </div>
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The iconic stories of my mission, the top 3, you could coin
them:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLQ2Ch9Ya97CnW49Wf_bRTsZKYFrbcAyhr6UUiXr_cpwocsp9EWv1KMCTQFjINtmFhaRIl7M2B9-wfr7Q_ELIrTl4NwGAIBy0RZQ7wUp7a10FcEH1FnF_QVlbSIXGUJFV16VUu1aYL_Y/s1600/devon+mission+2010+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a>One Friday night in June 2008, Elder Farr and I were riding
our bikes down Semoran Blvd at 9:00 PM on our way back to our apartment. I was
riding in front, sweating like a banshee, and Elder Farr cruised on his beach
cruiser, the most comfortable looking missionary in the world. There was a man
stumbling down the wide sidewalk and as I pulled up to him, I pulled a
pass-along card out of my pocket. He was on the phone, cursing up a storm at
whoever was on the other side of the call. I went to give him the card and he
hung up the phone and yelled at me, “Get out of here, or give me your bike.” I
rode away, that was easy. Well as I went down the way, I looked over my
shoulder and he had stepped in front of Elder Farr and grabbed the handlebars.
I stopped, turned around and approached them. The guy was insistent that Elder
Farr give him his bike. Elder Farr was insistent to keep his bike. That was
quite the conundrum. I tried to get closer and the guy threatened to kick me in
the head. The guy told us that day he had, “Put his dad in the ground, and you
don’t see me f------ cryin, do ya. I’m straight hood. You don’t know where I
come from, cracker (he was as white as us). I live in Crime Hills, b----. You
don’t know me” (This quote is not very accurate, there was a lot more profanity
used, I just don’t remember where and when he used his immense vocabulary). After
five minutes of bickering, Elder Farr conceded. I think what got him off his
bike was, “If you don’t give me the bike, the next time I see you there will be
a mother f------ 9 mil to your head.” Later he told me, his bike was less
expensive than his life. I agree. Elder Farr had a rack over the rear tire
where he would put his shoulder bag and hold it on with bungee cords. He took
that off and handed over his bike. The guy rode off. That was the first time I ever
heard an Elder swear. Two guys pulled up. The first in a white SUV asked, “Did
that guy just steal your bike?” We answered and he said, “I’m gonna go beat
him,” and he sped off. Fair enough. The next guy parked and started asking us
questions. He was a firefighter on a date with his wife, so he called his
buddies at the police department to lend us a hand (we didn’t have a cell
phone). The cop showed up and said, “So, he stole your bike.” “Yep.” The guy in
the SUV pulled up and said, "Hey your bike’s down the road and the guy’s in the
gas station with a gash in his head, it looks like he crashed.” So Elder Farr
hopped in the police cruiser and they took off down the road to get his bike. Two
minutes later he came cruising back down the road. Elder Farr said he saw his
bike lying on the sidewalk and said, “Hey that’s my bike!” The cop stopped in
the middle of the busy road and flipped on his lights and threw the car in reverse
and they got out to inspect the damage. The bungee cords had wrapped up in the
wheel, and we suppose the guy took a nice digger. We went home in peace. <br />
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Elder Romney and I did a lot of area book work together. We
condensed 3 giant area books into one compact binder. It took a lot of time,
and I figured something could come from it. And something great did. It never
came to fruition with Elder Romney, but our work together accomplished what the
Lord needed. Elder Romney and I went through a list of potentials we had
created, crossing them off when they didn’t live there anymore nor had any
interest. When Elder Silva was transferred into the area, we kept on doing
that. The third day he was there, we went to this cluster of potential
investigators in one complex. We walked from one door to the next, crossing off
the names quickly. We went from one door to the last door, and we walked by the
center plaza of the complex. In that moment, I felt a prompting from the Spirit
in a way I never had before. I saw a man. I knew I needed to talk to him. We
knocked on the door and the person didn’t live there. So we went to our car
through the plaza, and I said, “Let’s talk to him.” Elder Silva later admitted
he didn’t even see him when he was looking right at him. We talked to the man.
His name was Ignacio Barrera and he was from Mexico, of Aztec descent. He was
headed to eat with his sister’s family, so we left a Book of Mormon and a
challenge to read 3 Nefì 11. He said he would and that we could return a few
days later. We returned at the scheduled time and he had not read. And in a
moment that changed my whole life and view on the sacredness of the Book of Mormon.
Elder Silva said, “Let’s read it then.” After we finished reading, the Spirit
was palpable in the room. We paused and Ignacio, a very very intelligent man,
looked at us and said, “I know this is true because my grandmother told me this
story when I was a kid.” It is true, not because of that fact, which is
evidence that it could have happened. The reason it is true is that witness the
Spirit bore to us that day. If you haven’t had that experience, search it out.
Ignacio later admitted that he did not believe in Jesus Christ. He only invited
us back because we were to be, “the first 2 out of 12 sacrifices” he needed to
make to the Aztec gods in his life. The Book of Mormon fueled his conversion to
the gospel of Jesus Christ and to my last knowledge, he remained true and faithful
to the Church. </div>
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Elder Rydalch and I were tired of our approach. I had been
in Kissimmee for 6 months and I had nowhere that I could think of finding new
investigators. We decided to change things up and start off bold and asking
everyone if they would like to be baptized. Unfortunately for him, that day we
were going on exchanges, and I got to stay in the area with Elder Merrill.
Elder Merrill was excited to try it out. We went to an apartment complex and
our appointment fell through. There was a man walking in the parking lot and we
informed him that we were representatives of Jesus Christ and we asked if he’d
like to be baptized. He didn’t really take, and heck, I couldn’t commit to that
so quickly either. It’s a big step. But it got us in the door. He said he was
busy and we could return in a few days. We did that. He turned out to be
Torrebio Blacido from Perù, and his son Marcos was also there. Marcos had been
taught by the missionaries before in New Jersey. It turns out he was married to
a member of the church and was two days away from baptism and he decided to
turn it down. Since then, he had moved to Florida and was separated from his
wife. Back-tracking 9 months, I worked a little bit with his wife to come back
to church. More or less we asked her if she would and she said yes, and she
did. It was easy. They had a very cute daughter that was 3 years old. So we
asked him if he was ready to be baptized again, a bold move I admit, and he
said, “I’ll pray about it.” So he did, and we came back the next day, and he
said, “You know, before I doubted it and I wasn’t sure about baptism, but I prayed
about it last night and I want to be baptized.” A month and a half later, that
happened. Last I heard, he and his wife and daughter were happily back together. </div>
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So today, I raise a toast (of water in my Colorado Rockies
cup).</div>
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First, to the Elders and Sisters of the Florida Orlando Mission, and to
our leader President John C. Darrington and his wife Susan T. Darrington. Even
after all this time, I still remember their initials. </div>
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Next, to Elders Squires, Bernhisel, and Serra. We were never
companions, but we shared the most bittersweet, nerve racking, sleepless night
of all time together. </div>
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Next, to the Elders and Sisters I served around the most. To
Elders Bills, Kennett, Peterson, Smith, Larmore, Wood, Henz, Lindley, Burdick,
Law, Bellamy, Nelson, Rangel, Peters, Nelson, Miller, Lahaderne, Christensen, Merrill,
Stears, Dahle, Hansen, Doxey, Feula, Stepp, Crowder, Langarica, Gee, Steinman. There are
others that for some reason I cannot remember, to you too. Unfortunately,
because of that one miserable transfer Elder Rydalch and I had to car share
with you, to Sisters Jepson and Pereira. </div>
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Next, to La Zona Hispana, where I served from June 2008
until December 2009. It was a brotherhood within a brotherhood. There are many
memorable moments tied to it, such as watching Elder Feula move a trash
dumpster across the parking lot. "Si fueramos memos valiente en la preexistencia, estaríamos en la obra de Ingles." or "As goes La Zona, so goes the mission."</div>
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Next, to Elder Matthew Farr, my “father,” so to speak, who
trained me well. To Elder Chase Romney, you were always sweating and shaking,
but you never backed down. To Elder Mark Silva, we did good work together. To
Elder Chris Hoopes, we caught Zach together, who was the best lizard pet of all
time. To Elder Alex Daniels, my “son,” in some weird way, you were too much
like me. I have some of my best memories with you. To Elder Andrew Rydalch, my
other “son,” who was as they say, a five tool prospect. To Elder Scott Hadley,
we defied a lot of the thinking in Deltona II. To Elder Nick Brown, I can’t
think of anyone better to “kill me off.”</div>
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Next, to the members that took care of me, the Sotos, the
Cruzes, the Quispes, the Valladares, the Castillos, the Borjas, the Gomezes, the Escobars, the Dos, the Castillos, the Ortizes, and the countless
others. </div>
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Last, to the Filion family, the Marin family, the Luna
family, Carlos Cañas, the Almazan family, the Lopez family, Marvin Perez, Luis
Rodriguez, Guillermo Martinez, the Mendez family, Marisel Diaz, Ignacio
Barrera, the Agosto family, Maria Pilar Rivera, Pilar Ochoa, Jacklyn “Dimples”
Aleman, the Perez Figueroa family, the Blacido family, Anacelia Soto, Ariel
Hernandez, and the Gomez family. You are all very dear to my heart. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqkl3cW_h7OtNo52_UXKYN_m_wG0_fa-unnBpbPeuoL3aB1DlGkFSx989QV5Rojv6Cv1VSkOTA94vIJ6ZiB0rhyphenhyphenR-K3o1iJTaGtp59iyk33GRIf9ooFIEb59ErnjJPQN_J514Su7YDYDo/s1600/Devon+Mission+2009-10+071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqkl3cW_h7OtNo52_UXKYN_m_wG0_fa-unnBpbPeuoL3aB1DlGkFSx989QV5Rojv6Cv1VSkOTA94vIJ6ZiB0rhyphenhyphenR-K3o1iJTaGtp59iyk33GRIf9ooFIEb59ErnjJPQN_J514Su7YDYDo/s200/Devon+Mission+2009-10+071.JPG" width="200" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddiCdrdeqsC6ms18MSg5ZdidJhujvKJJPTXNEvGfsvTy3CZehpR5aDvfGMBKR9u0Sp9Ruuf5usZ6xZ4Hjt3RTY9HOKy7TeztqaPC3DIS1IMfAHUn6fMs9-MONmvlBeMXU_Gv5vY4RX6w/s1600/Devon+Mission+2009-10+038.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddiCdrdeqsC6ms18MSg5ZdidJhujvKJJPTXNEvGfsvTy3CZehpR5aDvfGMBKR9u0Sp9Ruuf5usZ6xZ4Hjt3RTY9HOKy7TeztqaPC3DIS1IMfAHUn6fMs9-MONmvlBeMXU_Gv5vY4RX6w/s200/Devon+Mission+2009-10+038.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLQ2Ch9Ya97CnW49Wf_bRTsZKYFrbcAyhr6UUiXr_cpwocsp9EWv1KMCTQFjINtmFhaRIl7M2B9-wfr7Q_ELIrTl4NwGAIBy0RZQ7wUp7a10FcEH1FnF_QVlbSIXGUJFV16VUu1aYL_Y/s1600/devon+mission+2010+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLQ2Ch9Ya97CnW49Wf_bRTsZKYFrbcAyhr6UUiXr_cpwocsp9EWv1KMCTQFjINtmFhaRIl7M2B9-wfr7Q_ELIrTl4NwGAIBy0RZQ7wUp7a10FcEH1FnF_QVlbSIXGUJFV16VUu1aYL_Y/s200/devon+mission+2010+009.JPG" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXjqaAjok4gtRLikAg9V7-E8nPP8HGiIFU60Z1pPUFCeap8ZnUgaskSdu68IKuJkYo5s0RKTnS82AaFsmQw-Owc88lWPCSJFCzbtehcNarQj65YlmnAGLVrlo97Yhjq0KqbjA7qAWrFU/s1600/Devon's+Mission+2+181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXjqaAjok4gtRLikAg9V7-E8nPP8HGiIFU60Z1pPUFCeap8ZnUgaskSdu68IKuJkYo5s0RKTnS82AaFsmQw-Owc88lWPCSJFCzbtehcNarQj65YlmnAGLVrlo97Yhjq0KqbjA7qAWrFU/s200/Devon's+Mission+2+181.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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Cheers. *Ding.</div>
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And to………</div>
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</div>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-33188734115375801182012-03-20T01:15:00.003-07:002012-03-28T13:17:20.965-07:00I Don't Like Bandwagons<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was born in Mountain View, California. Point 1.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lived from 2-6 years old in Spring, Texas. Point 2.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lived from 6-22 years old in Castle Rock, Colorado. Point
3.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sporadically, I lived in Rexburg, Idaho for five months for
college. Point 4.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lived in and around Orlando, Florida for two years (aged
19-21). Point 5.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I currently live in Reno, Nevada. Point 6.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have allegiances in sports. I am loyal to the teams I
support and cannot support other teams no matter how hard I try. It does not
make moral sense.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 1: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a fan of the San Francisco 49ers. They are my grandpa’s
team. They are my team. I am the only person allowed to change the channel on
my grandpa’s television because he knows if changed, it will go to sports. We
watched the 49ers play on Thanksgiving Day. Sadly, I fell asleep. I was tired. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At one point, when I knew nothing else about hockey I was a
fan of the San Jose Sharks and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (well done on your
marketing plan, Disney). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 2:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I am a fan of the
Houston Astros. Baseball is a tradition that is American as much as chocolate
chip cookies. In my developmental years, I grew to love everything about the
Astros. If I had grown up around another team, I wouldn’t like the Astros.
Especially given their recent love for sucking terribly. Dustin is loyal to the
Oakland Athletics because he grew up around the A’s. He does not really care
much for the Astros. I can’t blame him. That is his choice and when the Astros
went to the World Series in 2005, I watched every minute of those games. He
didn’t care. I respect that about my brother.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, I do not care much for basketball. I will watch. I
play NBA2K12. I play fantasy basketball. I fill out my bracket. Otherwise, I
could care less how many times Kobe wins the NBA Championship. Regardless I own
a Clyde Drexler Rockets jersey. I loosely follow the Houston Rockets. They did
win 2 championships while I lived there after all (the second was won on the
day we moved (I call their lack of championships since the “Kendall Kurse”)). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 3: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Upon moving to the metro Denver area in 1995, I found my
most profound affiliation that I maintain. It just so happened that the summer I
moved to Colorado, the Colorado Avalanche also moved to Colorado (formerly
being the Quebec Nordiques). I knew about 2 cents worth about hockey. My dad
decided to have “boys’ night out” and took us to a preseason Avalanche game
versus the Mighty Ducks. As I mentioned before, I liked the Ducks. About 2
cents worth. Well more or less, the Avalanche won and I liked that, and I have
been a fan since. I remember when they won their first cup in triple overtime. We
were driving home from a Rockies game when Uwe Krupp netted the game winner
from the point. We listened on the radio. I read the box score for every single
last game that they play. I am happy when the Red Wings lose. In fact, every person
wearing a red Detroit jersey I see, I automatically hate. I do not waiver in my
liking of the Avalanche; I do not and cannot support any other hockey team. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every chance I get, I go to their games. Tickets are stinking
expensive and I’m in college and I don’t live in town, so there are many
factors as to why I don’t go as much as Don Hotshot who has season tickets on
the glass. But I support. Mary’s favorite team is the Avalanche. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That covers the 4 major sports. Well, sixteen years is a
long time to live somewhere with only one religious (sports are religion)
affiliation, especially with reading the Denver Post sports section every
single day for those sixteen years. *My mom told me she either had to get the
newspaper or ESPN for me or she would be in jail for life for strangling me.
She really does love me; I’m just unbearable to live with without sports. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The easiest choice to float to would be the Broncos.
Everyone I know from Denver is a Broncos fan and I only had that small
connection to the 49ers. No thank you. I think the Broncos are a joke. I think John
Elway is a joke. *gasp! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So then the next logical choice would be the Nuggets, right?
Well all I remember of first grade is a boy in my class that wore a Nuggets
Starter jacket every day and he smelled like poop. Not up my alley. Plus, they
were terrible the first few years I lived there. They had one of the worst
records of all time and who do they draft to make their team better? Raef
LaFrentz? Good call, good call. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well turns out, I started to like the Rockies a lot. They weren’t
that good of a team either. But that was dispelled with my strong interest in
the Avalanche. You have one good team; you can have a small amount of interest
in another. Well coming from a baseball family, I read about baseball every
day. And coming from a baseball family, I attended baseball games all summer. I
guess that could attribute to the fact that I don’t like the Nuggets or Broncos;
I’ve never been to either of their games. My parents didn’t believe in cable so
the only baseball I got to watch was the World Series and the Rockies on the
weekends on UPN. I guess that contributed. But I think most of all was when my
dad decided to go all in and buy tickets like mad. I went to so many Rockies
games, I couldn’t not love them. I know their 40 man roster up and down. And I am
a fan. As much as the Astros? Slightly, no. But I am a fan of the Rockies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 4:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I went clinically
insane for 5 months without any good sports.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 5: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess I think the Magic are cool. They have a pretty good
team. Do I go out of my way to follow them? Not really. When I lived in
Kissimmee I lived down the street from the spring training complex of the
Astros. That was one of the coolest sights I saw every day. Unfortunately the
fates didn’t align that I could go to a game. It still is a dream of mine to go
see the Astros in spring training. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Derived from point 6:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I started to really
hate the San Francisco Giants when I moved to Reno. They had just won the World
Series and everyone and their dog talked about how good they are. Big whoop. Did
you support them before they got lucky? Not too many did. Then I found this
shirt in Colorado:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie8ANDQrEt5NRJH0oSNGNB1Qa8srMD5YLAB7B5bGV1QnzkHO9hB83hqovFjkJfkjtX8Wx39YljpLO4s8cTzvgSkWAKjLJN5ey9GvAXb6nVnZDosj3BLmAhAHv_-n_lws8yfxX_8gbC4mg/s1600/IMAG0016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie8ANDQrEt5NRJH0oSNGNB1Qa8srMD5YLAB7B5bGV1QnzkHO9hB83hqovFjkJfkjtX8Wx39YljpLO4s8cTzvgSkWAKjLJN5ey9GvAXb6nVnZDosj3BLmAhAHv_-n_lws8yfxX_8gbC4mg/s640/IMAG0016.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=4b55cd56ed&view=att&th=1362f167d7410f05&attid=0.1&disp=thd&realattid=1396944237862322176-1&zw" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truth. I believe my love for the Rockies has grown out of
spite to all the Giants bandwagoners. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Also, I am a part of the Wolf Pack. That means I hate UNLV, Boise St. and I really don't care for any other school's sports. Yes, I don't really care what seeding BYU gets. Do I care that Nevada didn't even make the tourney despite having a great record? Yes. Do I love the Pistol? Clearly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hate Toms. I had a pair of shoes like Toms in prison. Oh let
me shell out 54 dollars for a new set of fabric and rubber. No thank you. I can
supply a kid in a starving country with a new pair of Jordans that will last
him longer and ultimately cost less. It’s like sending a can of corn to every
homeless person for every can of corn I buy. Oh great a can of corn will get
you through the night. Then what? I suppose it’s every college student’s dream,
to make that difference with a ramen sized budget. Be careful you don’t break
your ankles when you jump off the Toms bandwagon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I refuse to listen to the radio. I don’t like being told
which songs are good. I know which songs are good by listening to which songs I
want to listen to. Have you heard of Built to Spill? No, but all those bands
you think are so cool listen to them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One last note, Jackson if all of the sudden you jump on the
heater bandwagon and decide you want the heater on all the time I will put your
goldfish in your bed. I love having the heater at 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
Jackson loves having the A/C on at 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Do we compromise as
good roommates should?? Well if you call compromise me blasting the heater then
Jackson blasts the A/C, then yes we compromise with the best of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The white milk dripped down with the blood,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the boyfriend fell down dead for good."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Carolina Drama - The Raconteurs</span></div>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-17146174210639515492011-12-15T15:25:00.000-08:002012-02-06T16:06:18.375-08:00I like PowerPointI made this last night for several people. I found that it's easily customizable. I'll show you Cade's version because he appreciated it the most. Enjoy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOfuG04wT63zO3bXf0Rb_CIMwDouHmrEbxmeqHaKmjKZUTfq1h9CCx46VSi_B6pi1aPUtOfZCG95ctY5ICepDx9CHr2MsU-Ej7VRvJ-kj6cy0q5tyztTIt_aKc-gqTDMhrrGAO0ImBsnY/s1600/Slide9.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" height="480" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686501275817944898" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOfuG04wT63zO3bXf0Rb_CIMwDouHmrEbxmeqHaKmjKZUTfq1h9CCx46VSi_B6pi1aPUtOfZCG95ctY5ICepDx9CHr2MsU-Ej7VRvJ-kj6cy0q5tyztTIt_aKc-gqTDMhrrGAO0ImBsnY/s640/Slide9.JPG" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" width="640" /></a>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-37526936462600825032011-11-09T22:09:00.000-08:002011-11-11T11:18:24.981-08:00I Wish I Were A FishI WISH I WERE A FISH. <p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj855RXqQB2CWNhOO2rdvo1eVvb0StlCV4yh9UUQJ3vy3LZ5RTHEWaag9z1Yc11OCmtIs_Tp-ZCoo9FtaW38VFqZ5fob0eAM8edEZ_i1KecGQJZUywHzAPMVNwnpvbSc0GZJpH8UweDVkU/s1600/fishie+copy.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 168px; height: 113px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj855RXqQB2CWNhOO2rdvo1eVvb0StlCV4yh9UUQJ3vy3LZ5RTHEWaag9z1Yc11OCmtIs_Tp-ZCoo9FtaW38VFqZ5fob0eAM8edEZ_i1KecGQJZUywHzAPMVNwnpvbSc0GZJpH8UweDVkU/s320/fishie+copy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673250606062871890" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I could swim and hide in the big blue ocean. There’s coral and caves and nooks and crannies. If I were a blue fish I’d be invisible. Or rather, camouflaged.</p> <p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRvdxa_H5Zs6IXj7XBgQnjDKEnN3clVpxDFTBM1Cv9pLczhVuSMaoJmVox4LMYxZOTrXrtQnpxF5fTAIVBYjCuIqFuiBxQXMKaPjKy1ZFNuRTOuFueaUmLYuXBl3E9LaJAAey_1QGAKk/s1600/fishie2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 130px; height: 86px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPRvdxa_H5Zs6IXj7XBgQnjDKEnN3clVpxDFTBM1Cv9pLczhVuSMaoJmVox4LMYxZOTrXrtQnpxF5fTAIVBYjCuIqFuiBxQXMKaPjKy1ZFNuRTOuFueaUmLYuXBl3E9LaJAAey_1QGAKk/s320/fishie2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673251004802239122" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">See, you can barely see me. A lot of people would prefer to be sharks instead of small fish at the other end of the food chain. </p><p class="MsoNormal">Note: The food chain is not a chain necklace made out of food. Although they do make candy necklaces. A fun thing to do with candy necklaces is to bite half of the candy ring off, and then fling half of the candy at other people using the elastic necklace. Sometimes it hits them in the eye and you’ll get embarrassed and remorseful. Those feelings will probably only last 5 minutes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I would not mind being a shark, but if I had a choice, I would not be one. There are plenty of pros in favor of shark life. Bitches don’t front. But, sharks are born with a natural addiction. Did you ever see Terry the Bum living in his tent under the Perry Street bridge? Scary Terry was always cracked out of his mind. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The best advice of my life I received from Scary Terry. In 8<sup>th</sup> grade, we were on a field trip to climb the Rock. Terry, his long gnarly locks strewn in the wind, road by on his bicycle and rang his bell as he rode past. Through his unkempt beard he yelled, “Stay in school, kids!” I’m currently in school.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Cocaine, in its most common form as crack rocks, is to Terry as blood, human especially, is to sharks. They can smell their respective vices from miles away. Blood is one hell of a drug. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">At this point in my life, I don’t think I have many vices.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">For comedic effect, I will tell you a joke. I will use this joke as a jumping off point to my next subject.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There was a man, Edward we’ll call him. He was joined in holy matrimony to a woman. They had been married for many years. Ed’s wife, Melinda, believed greatly in greater things as most people logically do. One day they went for a walk through a state park. Melinda stopped many times along the trail. First, she stopped to look at a bee taking pollen from a flower. Melinda said, “Oh my! Look at this great work of God!” Then, she stopped to look at a magnificent waterfall. “Look at this magnificent waterfall!” She said, “God has created this wonderful waterfall!” Next, she stopped to look at a Momma bear and her cub. “This is such a great work of God! Look at the life cycle! It is so beautiful!” She exclaimed. They walked further down the path. When they got to a certain point, a tree fell. A beaver had chewed through the trunk to use for his dam home. It fell on Melinda, smashing her to the ground. She screeched at Ed, “Why are you not doing anything?! Why are you just standing there?! Edward!!!” Ed looked at the beaver to the tree and his smashed wife and responded, “Look at this great work of God!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Old people are the best people. They are entitled to do whatever they want. On my drive this morning, I saw one walking across the street. I don’t see a problem with jay-walking; it’s effective. I should correct the sentence before last. The old man hobbled across the middle of Virginia St, relying heavily on his cane while traffic bore down on him. He didn’t give a crap if he held up traffic. That’s the life for me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">People from the age of 0-18 years also feel entitled. The awkward stage of life where humans don’t feel very entitled is called maturity. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think it’s harder to act crazy than to act like the majority of society. Conformity is key. Today on my 6 minute walk between classes, I saw 42 people wearing Uggs. Uggs are uggly. But because they’re cool, 40 women and two men were wearing them. My shoes are just as simply made, but I don’t see anyone wearing like shoes. I’m not the captain of Rogue Squadron – I conform just like many – but I like to show my personality in being unique. Unique New York. New York’s unique. My friend Jeff makes his own shirts with funny phrases, such as, “It’s Business Time.” I admire him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My aunt decided that my Grandad is too old for his own good. She bought him a cane. He uses it to pick up stuff. He needs a shoe: he uses his cane. He uses it so much for picking stuff up that the handle broke when my family was visiting. So Dustin glued it back together.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My aunt thought he was too old again and bought him a walker. It still has the tags on it and it sits in the corner of a room. He does what he wants.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Newborn babies do what they want. They sleep and poop and pee and cry and drink milk. I know someone who knows someone that had twins this morning. I’ve always been jealous of twins. They grow up together. They cruise the streets on dubs looking for biddies together. “Big Pimpin’, spending cheese. Big pimpin’ on B.L.A.P.s. We doing Big Pimpin’ up in NYC. It’s just that Jigga-man, Pimp-C and B.U.N.B. Check em out now.” – Jay - Z <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m supposed to be writing an essay on the effects of soil pollution on a forest ecosystem through biomagnification. I am a horrible procrastinator. I want to do what I want. But alas, I guess I will conform for the time being. There are little battles every day. I feel some solace if I win a few of those a week.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A lot of my little battles lately have been with my personal demons. The background of my computer until just recently has been a picture of my favorite band, Brand New. It says, “FIGHTOFFYOURDEMONSFIGHTOFFYOURDEMONSFIGHTOFFYOURDEMONSSIGHTOFYOURDEMONS.” I found it inspirational. But now, I don’t as much. I think it’s a good thought though.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I changed my background to a picture of Orlando Perez, his daughter Valentina and I. That was a very happy day. I want to be that happy again. I thank all of my close friends for their patience with me. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">“Because like dying young, idols got the best of me.<br />Well don't stop calling, you're the reason I love losing sleep.<br />And the building collapsed, so we'll shop one, we’ll shop one for something</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">I'll stick it at our skin, pierced for something.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">Besides, don't release me until it's over.<br />And besides, you can't believe without bleeding.<br />And besides, you can't believe without bleeding.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">-Colly Strings- Manchester Orchestra</p>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-32182184883947379992011-10-23T02:22:00.001-07:002011-10-23T02:22:49.662-07:00Night<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> 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mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m perplexed with the astounding moments I have while driving at night. I enjoy driving at night far more than during the day. If I have a long distance to travel, you better believe I do it at night. My emotions don’t lie to me at night. It’s as if I say to myself, “Ok self, be true to yourself… now.” I would count it as my mind unwinding with the events of every day, but when I lie down at night, I just toss and turn like the tumble mode on my dryer. The dryer I’m referring to is the one at the house my parents own, not the dryer at the apartment Jackson and I rent. It’s been a while, but if I remember right, it’s a GE and it shakes the whole house. It’s that powerful. If you ever need a good massage, go sit on the couch that wall that divides the two. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But on my drives at night, I don’t toss and turn. I’m relaxed. I figure out what’s important. I think things through. I realize realizations. These are the times I listen to music, yet I don’t really listen to it. Then these songs that I hear get tied to memories that aren’t connected. A certain song reminds me of a certain friend. I doubt I ever listened to this song with them. Every time I think of them because thoughts of them were berating my mind at the time. I was confused, and this song suddenly made sense, and then my situation suddenly made sense. For that tiny miniscule moment I saw the grand picture that God painted at the beginning of time. I floated along the path of code that dictates every occurrence. I’m not saying that it was a spiritual moment, it wasn’t. I wasn’t enlightened by that Spirit that is called Holy. My spirit coalesced with its surroundings. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I suppose it’s appropriate that the drives I remember from when I was younger are tied to a song that goes, “In and around the lake/ mountains come out of the sky and they stand there/ one mile over we’ll be there and we’ll see you/ ten true summers we’ll be there and laughing too/ twenty four before my love you’ll see/ I’ll be there with you.” – Yes – Roundabout. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I saw the most interesting thing on my drive home tonight. Along McCarran Boulevard, there are those reflecting posts that mark the boundary of different directions. I was on the left of these sticks, so I knew I was headed the correct way. I passed one other car in the 4.1 mile stretch that I drive along this roadway, I passed possibly twelve cars headed in the opposite direction. That’s an average of approximately three cars a mile, or at the 50 MPH that is the posted speed limit, about one car per minute traveled. Keep in mind, I’m just guesstimating here. As I drove through the dark, the reflector posts reflected the light of my headlights, as their name suggests. As I came up and around the bend, the posts lined up in my field of vision. They passed each other on the x-y-z plane in a rhythm tied to the song playing on my stereo. The little squares of yellow filed along as items along a conveyor belt. The moment in my mind was sublime. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Tonight I was agitated. This moment put into perspective just how simple it all can be. The “it” I refer to is the general happenings of everyday life. I guess if you had to put a name on it, I would call it the timeline. Irrational thoughts bothered me today. The order and designation of those posts spoke to me. They said, “Devon, you are irrational and easily perturbed. You think too much of moments that are insignificant. If you step back, take a deep breath and open your eyes for once, your mind will speak the truth.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Truth to be told, I’m living the life of my dreams right now. I don’t think I’ll bother to ask for anything else, as I really don’t need any change to the current system I have in place. The rhythm of everyday life is like those posts. I just go and go and go up and around the bend. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Denver grew me. Orlando molded me. Reno has used me. The places I’ve been are where I’ve needed to be. I really have no idea how this story they call my life can end. I feel that I’ve reached the climax point. When I hit 64, I know my 22 year old self was stupid for thinking such things. But really, I am happy, and besides happiness, what is there to wish for? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I lose sight of that from time to time. I think fate wants me to drive at night. Hence, my innate ability to experience insomnia. So I just drive. I’ve driven a bit and I’ll drive a bit more.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center" align="center">“Cassadaga might just be a premonition of a place you’re going to visit.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center" align="center">– Bright Eyes- Clauridents (Kill or Be Killed)</p>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-49951814231757975502011-09-26T16:39:00.000-07:002011-09-26T22:10:24.197-07:00If I Had One Million of Your DollarsI like money. I have fun with money. I spend money. I’m really bad at saving and investing money. Some people are good at that. They become millionaires and billionaires usually. Some of them become hundredaires because they only work at McDonald’s. I don’t like McDonald’s food. It tastes as cheap as it is. I like food that is cheap but tastes rich. <p class="MsoNormal">My dad has this problem that money “burns a hole in his pocket.” That’s a phrase that’s not literal, it’s figurative. It means that he likes to spend cash when he’s in the store on random, useless stuff. I think it is a genetic trait. I’m really good at spending money. Really, trust me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There’s an effect I call “the Taco Bell effect.” Whenever I go to Taco Bell I think to myself, “Well I’d like a crunchwrap supreme, and a baja chicken chalupa, and you know what, I haven’t had a quesadilla in a while. Throw in a grilled stuffed burrito, of the steak kind, and some cinnamon twists. And I can’t forget that baja blast. Extra grande.” By the time I’ve done this, I end up with about twelve items and I have to pay 20 bucks. Then I don’t eat it all, but it’s all so appetizing. Good thing they came back with the chicken flatbread sandwiches for only a dolla. Holla. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The premise: you give me one million of your dollars to spend recklessly in 72 hours. If I don’t accomplish it, I owe you one million dollars.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are two albums that I want on vinyl. The first being <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The Alchemy Index</i> by Thrice. On eBay (an online auction website that people visit and get addicted to buying stuff and then get stuck with a ton of stuff and then decide they can try to sell the stuff to other people then can’t sell the stuff to other people so they’re double stuck with all that stuff) <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The Alchemy Index</i> usually runs between $107.50 (US dollars, not Canadian) and $200. The other vinyl that I hopelessly look at every week is by Brand New and is titled <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Your Favorite Weapon</i>. It runs between $150 and $300. I would get the nicest version I could. If I had one million of your dollars I would buy these albums.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$999,500.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I would like to say that I could pay for my college with this money, but I don’t have tuition due within the next 72 hours, so I would create a scholarship fund for me and put in $50,000 to pay for tuition and books until I graduate. See, you’re already making the future brighter.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$994,500.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">H.G. Wells sucks gas like nobody’s business. Time for a new vehicle. I want a 2012 Nissan Altima 3.5 SR. I suppose insurance on that would be pretty expensive for a 23 year old. Thus, I’ll put in about 30 grand towards insurance for now. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$969,326.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now comes the reckless part. And it’s going to be awesome. I’m gonna buy a house. You say, oh that’s a useful investment. Then I’m gonna line the walls with dynamite and load it all with fireworks. You say, oh that’s an awesome investment. I want to build ramps on both sides of the house. Oh, it has to be on some land to accomplish what I want to. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$472,356.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I want to hire 5 musical artists for the occasion. Lady Gaga, the Bieb, U2, Elton John, and Taylor Swift. I suppose I could wrangle them in for $50,000. Just for one gig. Hell, I’d take that deal. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$447,356.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I’ll buy a billboard in every major US city, I figure there’s about 50. I’ll make it in paint because I’m no good at graphic design in photoshop. It will look like this:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix6BUP2eQKbUH_PANBA7HLLOhFYQjGt6iQ_IjsAH2YyhwbvtVVT01lIaZE2fE5ExkQJaD4-kNfSF2kHxCudQwR7t-tW-elAMJ_UhdrAa2w-7DZAx_PeXEqi_t0CeYWq4LLm5v4NGKNQD8/s1600/billboard.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 126px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix6BUP2eQKbUH_PANBA7HLLOhFYQjGt6iQ_IjsAH2YyhwbvtVVT01lIaZE2fE5ExkQJaD4-kNfSF2kHxCudQwR7t-tW-elAMJ_UhdrAa2w-7DZAx_PeXEqi_t0CeYWq4LLm5v4NGKNQD8/s320/billboard.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5656901391611921074" border="0" /></a><span style="mso-no-proof:yes"> </span> <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$347,356.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then I need someone to cater the occasion. You know those flatbread sandwiches I was talking about earlier? I’m buying 100,000 of them. Why? Cause they’re so tasty. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$247,356.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Almost there. Next I’m hiring stunt men on stunt motorcycles that ride through fire. I figure they’d cost half the amount of the musicians. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$197,356.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hold up, I need a Gatorade. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$197,354.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ok back to business. Now I don’t want to pay for camera crews or anything like that. If they want to come, they better pony up and show up. But everyone who is anyone will be there. Why? Because I’ll pay them to be there. Here’s the list: </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">1. Lady Gaga</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">2. Oprah Winfrey</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">3. The Bieb</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">4. U2</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">5. Elton John</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">6. Tiger Woods</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">7. Taylor Swift</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">8. Bon Jovi</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">9. Simon Cowell</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">10. LeBron James</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">11. Angelina Jolie</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">12. Katy Perry</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">13. Johnny Depp</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">14. Kobe Bryant</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">15. Leonardo Dicaprio</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">16. Black Eyed Peas</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">17. Donald Trump</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">18. Dr. Phil</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">19. Tyler Perry</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">20. Paul McCartney</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">21. Jennifer Aniston</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">22. Steven Spielberg</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">23. Rush Limbaugh</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">24. Ryan Seacrest</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">25. Roger Federer</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thank you Forbes for your celebrity 100, I would be lost without you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Wait a second, that list kind of sucks. Let’s get some low-life, real good partiers on there. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">1. <s>Lady Gaga</s> Already performing</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">2. <s>Oprah Winfrey</s> Charlie Sheen</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">3. <s>The Bieb</s> Already performing</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">4. <s>U2</s> Jay-Z</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">5. <s>Elton John</s> Beyonce Knowles</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">6. Tiger Woods</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">7. <s>Taylor Swift</s> Already performing</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">8. <s>Bon Jovi</s> Brad Pitt</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">9. <s>Simon Cowell</s> Sean Diddy Combs</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">10. LeBron James</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">11. Angelina Jolie</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">12. Katy Perry</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">13. Johnny Depp</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">14. Kobe Bryant</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">15. Leonardo Dicaprio</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">16. Black Eyed Peas</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">17. <s>Donald Trump</s> Lil’ Wayne</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">18. <s>Dr. Phil</s> Tim Allen (he did time for selling cocaine. No joke)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">19. Tyler Perry</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">20. <s>Paul McCartney</s> Kanye West</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">21. Jennifer Aniston</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">22. Steven Spielberg</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">23. <s>Rush Limbaugh</s> Andy Samberg (and crew)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">24. <s>Ryan Seacrest</s> Tina Fey</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span class="indent">25. <s>Roger Federer</s></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think that’s a good list and would just about exhaust my funds renting them for the night, putting them up in hotels, etc.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$100.00</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now comes the fun part. Imagine this. We party like we could never stop. The music plays until the speakers blow. Then when the night seems just about dead, the house blows up with the dynamite and fireworks. The motorcyclists take off and jump through the explosions. Chaos. Life as Hollywood knows it is celebrated. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">While everyone is at this party, I’ll drive to the coast with my favorite people. We’ll watch the sun set. And relax.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">-$0.00 </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;" align="center">“I know you want to,</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center" align="center">I know you want to,</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center" align="center">I know you want to run away.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center" align="center">-Untitled 09 (The Edge Takes Over For Vin) – Brand New</p>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-1728404351590778732011-09-01T14:39:00.000-07:002011-09-01T14:45:45.370-07:00October is the Month for Halloween
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Its heart is in Colorado, and I tried to change that. It acted like a 5 year-old with broccoli. So I let it keep its phone number.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">At first it was convenient to have a robot girlfriend. You could just turn her off when the yapping was getting too much. She’d cool off, and I’d be relieved.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Later, they figured out how to integrate the power switch into the command sequence. “Robot, power off.” Easy at first, I didn’t have to worry about getting slapped when I reached for the switch. But then some idiot somewhere started programming them like an idiot would program them. The robots got smart and they started disobeying that one order at first, then it turned into a whole ordeal of teenage rebellion in the robot industry. Teenagers are easy to control; there are few of them, and you just take away privileges and they listen. The teenage angst from robots came when there were way too many of them to handle, and they didn’t have many privileges to take away. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The future sucks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Like the first African-American, women and dolphin U.S. Presidents, everyone was super excited when the first robot got elected president. Racer-x-39. His main selling point was that he was the future. He was pretty dang right. He found every loophole in the constitution like a robot would and turned our society into a Hoover-Ville type of society. I’m not saying just the lower class, but the lower, middle, upper, and the holy crap they have a ton of money classes.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The first initiative Racer-x-39 took in office was to give tax money to police departments that employed robots. He gave them a lot of Benjamin’s. So naturally, police departments rapidly turned into robot police departments. Phase 1 of complete takeover complete.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The second initiative Racer-x-39 took in office was passing a bill for research into better jet cars and high high high rise houses. Basically his dream was to create a Jetsonian type society. It was based on his crush on Rosie.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The third initiative Racer-x-39 took in office was to create The Constitution v.2.0. This was his most creative way at just absolutely abolishing the rights of humans. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Within twelve weeks most humans were being sold in slave markets, much like the 1800s. I went for the price of US $45,999.99. Even in the future, prices aren’t round numbers, even though pennies are overly obsolete. My brother went for a higher price. I still don’t know why. He’s pretty good at selling himself.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The resistance came shortly after. Old rusty chainsaws, axes and assorted forestry tools were found buried in the past by suspicious hermits and loggers, which most of the time are one and the same. They were smuggled under tables and hidden in floorboards, and special code phrases such as, “October is the month for Halloween,” were created. Robots couldn’t fully function if you cut off their legs. With exception of the lazor-eyed ones. They just started shooting lazors every which way. But it was easy to run from them, and let them rust and disintegrate. There were minimal, but necessary, human causalities. Their names are etched in the hearts of the revolutionists.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Suddenly, the presidency turned into a dictatorship. The realm of the United States started reaching further and further than it already did when robot dictators allied with robot dictators and others took some pretty good bribes. The robot dictator, El Se<span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >ñ</span>or Simpatico 3400, of Nicaragua (which by that time controlled 3/5 of what was once known as Central America) decided, due to his complex programming, that it was better to have a mansion in the clouds than to have to deal with threats of assassination and low approval ratings. By the year 2259, the world was on the brink of WWIX, with the world super powers being America and Tahiti.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The country of Tahiti covered all of Polynesia, south to Australia, and North throughout most of Asia. They didn’t bother conquering India, as there were far too many people to worry about. The pinnacle of their empire was the pinnacle of the world- Mount Everest. Robots had a weird obsession with heights. The further and further they were away from sea-level, they became happier and more functional. I researched why.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As with most things metal, robots hated the water. Have you ever spilled a drink on your keyboard? Water + Robot = rusty defunct robot. They enjoy dry climates, hence the reason for the capitol change from Washington D.C. to Albuquerque, New Mexico. The only thing robots did with water concerned funerals of old malfunctioning robots. They would dump them in the sea to never see them again. We bury people in the ground. Dead humans deteriorate and become fertilizer. The water corrodes the robots and they become salts in the ocean. That was the problem robots had with water.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The way we decided to revolt this time was by using water. The question was how to use water to destroy robots. They were pretty good at defending themselves from the rain and the rivers. They had developed umbrellas that popped out of their backs and shielded them whenever water droplets were sensed. 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mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal">There needed to be a great source of water that would let out water at a high rate and pressure. There wasn’t such a thing known to man at that time.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My master wanted to create his own mountain so his mansion would be that much higher than his neighbor’s. To do so we had to create a hole many miles wide to get as much dirt as we could. I was digging one day and I found a buried city. I thought there had been something at the location, but wasn’t sure. I found this city had an intricate water system with pumps for controlling fires near streets called “fire hydrants.” They were everywhere! Fires never got out of control in our society; this amazed me at how much flames ruled the underworld. So using handwritten notes and carrier pigeons, we as a group of revolutionists started searching for and unearthing these hydrants in hopes of using them against our masters. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">After five years, we have enough hydrants to win the battle, I believe. So into the basement and under the boards I go. I don’t know what the future holds, but I suspect we’ll have to start from scratch. That will be fine. We will be free. I’ve sent this letter in a time machine back to 2011 in the hopes that someone will make the future known world-wide, and create a parallel universe where no human ever suffers the iron fist of the robots. Godspeed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">“I have a microchip implanted in my heart,
<br />So if I try to escape, the robots will blow me apart,
<br />And my limbs will go flying and land before the ones that I love,
<br />Who would wail and would weep, but the robots would keep them at bay,
<br />While I shut my eyes for the very last time.
<br />Citizens of tomorrow be forewarned.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">- Tokyo Police Club – Citizens of Tomorrow</p> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-51410088709941046432011-07-28T10:55:00.000-07:002011-07-29T11:13:32.010-07:00My Thoughts As Of Late<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> 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mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Jonathon Vance is a guy I’ve worked with since I was 16. We work together as bussers at Red Robin. He got the nickname Vegas from our general manager Hal. No one knows why he chose Vegas, but since then, that’s all he goes by. I am convinced that he is a captain of a pirate ship. I even wrote several short stories about it for my friend that she’s kept in her notebook for years. His culture is the opposite of mine. He calls me weekly to cover a shift of his, because he has some business to take care of. It’s usually crap from his baby’s momma (who still wants to get with him, but he’s having none of it).<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last weekend was Captain Vegas’ 26<sup>th</sup> birthday. He showed up at the place of party already 21 hours drunk. I was impressed at first. The thing is, you can’t really control a ghetto drunk, and the Kansas City ghetto came out of him when he showed up. What was funny at first slightly turned disastrous. The whole point of the party was to go swimming at Nic and Alex’s place. I was ready to go. Somehow Vegas’ prison stint got brought up. The next hour Nic, Dylan and I slightly feared that Jon would get out of hand. He kept repeating his fight record in the clink. “9-2, 9-2, 9-2.” We tried every response from “That’s cool,” to “Good thing you’re out now,” to “Let’s go swimming,” to “There’s some nice weather today.” “9-2, 9-2, 9-2.” He even showed off his moves to Nic at one point. I was sure there would be a hit to the face. It was very close. Steven told me once that a drunken Vegas punch is the hardest punch he’s ever taken.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">After a long time of coaxing, we finally got him out the door towards the pool, and everything was peachy. We only made it to the stairs before I thought he would kill again. Drunk Dylan was spitting some raps and said the “N-word.” The “N-word” is derogatory towards African-Americans.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Side note: I’ve never known fully what race the Vance family is, I believe he’s adopted, because his older brother looks Irish, and Vegas and his sister look African-American, but not. I’ve tried to develop the attitude that race doesn’t matter, so there’s no point in asking.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">At first he tried to blame me for saying the offense. I immediately placed it all on Dylan. Dylan tried saying he said something else, and he started saying words that sound like the “N-word.” My favorite was “nigré,” said with a French accent. I don’t know how Vegas bought this. Probably because he was drunk. I’m glad that we didn’t find out about the knife he was carrying/he had forgotten about the knife he was carrying until several hours later when he had calmed down and was eating mac ‘n’ cheese. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I wear Macbeth shoes because every tool in America started wearing Vans and I felt it necessary to separate myself from the crowd. I think it’s absurd that older people, such as my dad, noticed the trend, and they started wearing knock off Vans. Cheaper versions of the style. My dad wears crocs’ versions of Vans for one; he is quite into that brand. I bring this up because I have an internal struggle. My brother works at Vans. He gives me 50% off of a shoe’s price. That, as they say, is a steal of a deal. Yet I don’t want my feet covering to resemble that of Chad Peterson. What a tool. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My favorite authors are Melville and Vonnegut. I know they don’t really fall into the same category. It’s like saying Barry Manilow and Insane Clown Posse are my favorite musical acts (they aren’t). My dad didn’t understand Moby-Dick when he tried to read it. I did somehow. I think that’s because I had to read it so fast for a class. I didn’t pay attention to the meaning of every word. I just saw the whole picture and I revel in the feeling I got at the end of the book of. The moral of the book I believe is, “such is life.” Yeah, it sucks completely that a whole ship and its crew was lost all because of the vengeance scheme of Captain Ahab. Such is life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Vonnegut is very dry. He puts the facts out in front of the reader. I really liked Slaughterhouse Five. It has the thoughts of a “crazy” person and challenges whether or not he was actually crazy or just living in an alternate universe. I’ve wondered if I’m going to go senile later in life. It could happen.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The best movie I’ve seen this year was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Hesher</i>. Dustin, Jeanna and I saw it in the Mayan Theatre in Denver. This was my first experience at the Mayan. It instantly became my favorite theatre I’ve been to. They have these cool sculptures all over the place and really cool murals. The theme is Mayan culture, as per the name suggests. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Hesher</i> starred Joseph Gordon-Leavitt, Natalie Portman, Rainn Wilson, and a young boy named Devin. I remembered that because my name is Devon. Apparently he spells it wrong. I like the spelling of my name a lot more, and if people mess it up, my emotions fall between annoyed and perturbed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I currently work for my dad as his assistant. Somebody asked me yesterday what that entails. I lied, saying I assist him in his Market Research Firm, helping him process data and develop surveys. I really don't know what I do, I just do what he says to do. A lot of the time, my interpretation of what he wants me to do, is not really what he wants me to do, and he gets angry. I can understand the frustration. I would be the same.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I have a relatively new obsession with vinyl records. I don’t see a point in owning an iPod. I think iPods are a sign of the coming zombie apocalypse, they numb the listener, but curiously enough I use iTunes. I am horribly obsessed with listening to music. My brother and I trade bands like 90s kids traded Pokémon cards (another trend I couldn’t bring myself to doing). </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m thinking about unionizing. The only other employee is Taylor. I don’t think she’ll be game for it though. She likes my dad entirely much more than I do. She’s a really nice person. I don’t know what I would unionize for. I think it would be an interesting experience. The only downfall is that he might lock me out, and I wouldn’t be able to talk with the rest of my family, and I wouldn’t be able to use family facilities until we settle on a new C.B.A. He’d probably want to enforce a salary cap, and I’d be opposed. Ultimately, I’d realize that my offseason routine was shot because of the lock-out, and I’d have to settle. I’d like to imagine I’d get some benefits out of it, like lower rookie salaries and no two-a-days. Also, some shared media. Even though I already get Netflix and mlb.tv, I’d probably try to get NHL games paid for online. I think the hassle’s worth it. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve grown my hair out since October because I was sick of having short hair like everyone else. I was entirely influenced by Jude Law in Cold Mountain. My thinking was, if I grow my hair out like him, I will be as good looking as he, and I will get women that look like Nicole Kidman pre-Botox to fall in love with me. So far it hasn’t really worked, but I enjoy feeling better than every guy with a faux hawk.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I speak fluent Spanish. Not the “Hola, como estas” type of Spanish that every “fluent” college student claims to know. It’s the, “Mira la puerta; que la rubia tiene piernas de oro,” type with the cooks I work with. I converse with any and all Latinos on life, death, literature and all the finer things in life. I learned around Puerto Ricans, so sometimes it gets real ugly, “Oye chico, vamo a coger la juajua, tenemo’ que ‘alir pa’ la playa. Tambien, quiero comer pollo, ‘tonces paremo’ en el KFC.” Because of that special gift to speak Boricua (it’s close enough to Dominican), I understood Manny when he was being Manny, and he was especially Manny in Spanish. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Tonight we are going to Casa Bonita. Not for the food. I haven’t been there since I was in the 3<sup>rd</sup> grade, so I vaguely remember it. But I do remember the sweet awesome cliff divers. And Black Bart’s cave. Basically, that’s the only reason we’re going tonight. I’ve heard the sopapillas are good. This place was featured on the cartoon <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">South Park</i>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>My brother wants me to get a tattoo. I most likely won't go through with it. I don't have the money to do it, and I don't really find it necessary. I’ve considered it. I know what I would get. It’s my version of the Colorado flag. Basically, the bottom blue stripe would be mountains, the red C would have sun rays coming off of it, as it is coming upward over the mountain. And the top blue stripe would be clouds. I have thought about adding little v’s in there to simulate birds flying. I also think I might add the saying by Bright Eyes, “I’m wide awake, it’s morning,” in cursive. Or from Iron and Wine, “So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten. Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain.” That’s a homage to my dear mother, who I love a lot.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been reading my Book of Mormon more recently. I’m in the chapters of Alma that I like to call, “The War Years.” I think they’d make a really cool movie. Especially the scene were Teancum slays Amalickiah in his tent. </p><p class="MsoNormal">My parents are out of town. My mother pulled her back on Sunday. I was surprised she left. She could barely walk. It looked painful. My dad and I gave her a blessing of health on Sunday using the Melchezidek Priesthood. It worked.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">“Mother remember the night that the dog had her pups in the pantry?<br />Blood on the floor, fleas on their paws,<br />And you cried 'til the morning.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten.<br />Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center">-Iron and Wine- Upward Over the Mountain</p>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1224557863002401832.post-61907292629093617792011-06-29T10:31:00.000-07:002011-06-29T10:41:02.308-07:00Cheeseburgers and Green Bowler Hats<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} table.MsoTableGrid {mso-style-name:"Table Grid"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-priority:59; mso-style-unhide:no; border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-border-insideh:.5pt solid windowtext; mso-border-insidev:.5pt solid windowtext; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">60% of the time I don’t enjoy listening to people tell me stories about their dreams. They’re highly insignificant to me and mostly confusing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none">I devote a lot of my attention to my dreams. They usually involve one real person I know and compared to others’ dreams, they are fairly normal. I don’t just pass through tunnels of color. I have these four dreams from the last year written out on my computer.</p> <table class="MsoTableGrid" style="border-collapse:collapse;border:none;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-yfti-tbllook:1184;mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr style="mso-yfti-irow:0;mso-yfti-firstrow:yes"> <td style="width:1.45in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="139"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">Date of Dream</p> </td> <td style="width:5.2in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left:none;mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="499"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">Main theme of dream</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:1"> <td style="width:1.45in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top:none;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="139"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">February 27, 2011</p> </td> <td style="width:5.2in;border-top:none;border-left:none; border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="499"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">Roller-skate fight</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:2"> <td style="width:1.45in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top:none;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="139"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">March 8, 2011</p> </td> <td style="width:5.2in;border-top:none;border-left:none; border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="499"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">BBQ with vampire sisters and wrestling bears</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:3"> <td style="width:1.45in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top:none;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="139"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">March 10, 2011</p> </td> <td style="width:5.2in;border-top:none;border-left:none; border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="499"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">Rescuing a car from a carpeted sink hole</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:4;mso-yfti-lastrow:yes"> <td style="width:1.45in;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top:none;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="139"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">March 11, 2011</p> </td> <td style="width:5.2in;border-top:none;border-left:none; border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" valign="top" width="499"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal;tab-stops:.25in .5in .75in 1.0in 1.25in 1.5in 1.75in 2.0in 2.25in 2.5in 2.75in 3.0in 3.25in 3.5in 3.75in 4.0in 4.25in 4.5in 4.75in 5.0in 5.25in 5.5in 5.75in 6.0in 6.25in 6.5in 6.75in 7.0in 7.25in 7.5in 7.75in 8.0in; mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none" align="center">“Church Creep” driving backwards into houses</p> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >Most of the time, I can pull some sort of meaning and real-life application to them making these dreams significant and not confusing. One meaning is that when you meet vampire sisters, have a bbq with them. Or, don’t let “Church Creep” drive. Good rules to govern my life on. But for the first time in my life I cannot find any bit of significance to a dream. It was so eagerly bizarre that I woke up confused in my own bed. It went as follows.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >Dream June 29, 2011:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >I was in Utah. Utah is a place where everyone follows the latest trend, especially in food. High quality thick burritos? Check. Build your own yogurt stores? Check. Five Guys? Check. As Mike Johnson put it, “Salt Lake is so hipster, if you don’t have a button up shirt and a fixie, you won’t survive.” I saw a very long line at a </span>fast casual restaurant (aka Denver originals Chipotle, Smashburger, and Noodles & Company ), so I decided to see what everyone was so eager to get. I got in the long line and at the end of the line the worker asked me what I would like to drink. I asked what he had. He said everything. So I said Mtn. Dew of course, and he handed me a 1 liter plastic cup of Mtn. Dew from his shelf of 1 liter cups. It wasn’t very special, but it did come in 1 liter size. So I went to the checkout counter (mind you this was all that was in the store, the line and the register), and the cashier said, “Your total is nine dollars.” I was appalled. I could get a 2 liter in the store for a buck. But everyone else paid. So I set down my drink, and grabbed a candy bar from the shelf in front of the counter, took a bite out of it and set it down on the counter as well, then walked out. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I walked out into another restaurant and realized I had to use the bathroom. So I asked a worker at the restaurant where the bathroom was located. He pointed to a door that clearly had “men’s room” on it. I walked in, and it was just an extension of the restaurant, but it was quite desolate except for the one table of patrons closest to the door. I had to pee, so I went to the corner and said, “I’m peeing, don’t look… Unless you want to.” </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I finished my business and climbed out through the window into my backyard. So far, not very uncommon of a dream. There were a ton of people in my backyard. They were having lobster races on a special lobster racing table. My Grandad was the bookie, taking bets and moving money. It resembled the stock market. Except, there were lobsters racing. The cops shut it down, so we had to find a new place to race our lobsters. I helped my Grandad move the table down the street to the rec center. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Then it went really crazy. Kristen Thorne, Kali Harris and Collin Pierson showed up in 1920’s clothing as if they were classy or something. They placed a lot of money on the track and lost. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">And then out of nowhere, and by nowhere I mean this is worse than “Field of Dreams” bizarre, a cheeseburger and a basket of onion rings ran through the whole scene. Ten seconds later, a green bowler hat, a pile of BBQ brisket and a leather watch followed them in hot pursuit. You could hear the green bowler hat (obviously the leader of the group) mutter as he ran past, “They’re running away from home, they’re running away from home, they’re running away from home, etc.” The remaining 30 minutes of my dream followed this chase. The cheeseburger and onion rings escaped those chasing them by going into the Grand Canyon and hiding away.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are many factors I want to blame to be the cause of this dream. One is the fact that I’m listening to Neutral Milk Hotel all the time. When the first track goes, “When you were young you were the king of carrot flowers and how you built a tower tumbling through the trees in holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet and your mom would stick a fork right into daddy's shoulder and dad would throw the garbage all across the floor as we would lay and learn what each other’s bodies were for.”<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">The other factor was the cheeseburger and onion rings I ate at the Rockies game last night, which ended in a race to home plate in the 13th inning. Tulowitzki was hauling by the way and scored.<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Still, I cannot pull any meaning out of this dream. It was very normal up until the chase scene, which was the majority of the dream. If anyone can interpret it, please help. Otherwise, just pray you never have a dream as utterly confusing and bizarre as this one.</p><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal">"Two headed boy<br />She is all you could need<br />She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires<br />And retire to sheets safe and clean<br />But don't hate her when she gets up to leave"<br />-Neutral Milk Hotel- "Two-Headed Boy Pt. Two"<br /></p>devonasaurus rexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02619359088445689701noreply@blogger.com0